Hiei's Little Problems
by Madd Hattress
Summary: Just as the title says.
1. WHat The?

I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. But I own Kitty and so on and so forth....

Hiei's Little Problems

Hiei's POV

I put the blade up to the skin of my right arm. It lightly laid my knife on top of it. I watched the skin peal back from my arm as a thin line of blood appeared. (I got that from a book I read called Cut, well parts of it so I don't own that too) I moved the blade and did it again. This time deeper and longer. I didn't mind the pain. I got used to it. The blood no longer made me sick. I like to see blood. Especially if its mine. I felt someone coming, so I stuffed away the blade in to the hole I made in the ground, wrapped up my cuts, and pretended nothing was going on.

"Hiei! What were you doing?" said the person.

I looked up. It was that fool again. He didn't need to know, none of them needed to know. I just looked up at him and stared at him till he backed away. He wouldn't care if I was hurting myself. No one cares. I don't care.

"Come on, we got to go get Yuskae and the others so we can go to the temple," he said.

I got up and ran to Yuskae's. "I hate it when he does that," I heard him say in the distance.

I was there with in seconds. I stood in the tree and watched him. He was just sitting there, staring at a blank wall. It took him awhile for him to notice me. "Hiei! I didn't see you there. Are we going yet?" he looked around, "Where's Kuwabara?"

"Hn, why should I care? It's not my fault you humans are so slow." I smirked.

"What ever let's go," he shrugged.

Still Hiei's POV

I decided to walk with him. He was at least worth some of my time. We still had to pick up Kitty and Kurama. We headed off to Kurama's first. When we finally got there, he was waiting out side. "What took you so long?" he asked with a smile.

"You could have gone by yourself if we were taking so long," I said. That just made him smile more.

"I thought it would be more fun to go with friends," he said. I rolled my eyes.

Kitty lives only a few blocks away from Kurama. Yuskae rang her door bell. And she came running into her door. "Ow! I forget there's a glass door there. We should we get a regular door. Our neighbors are kinda perverted." She said rubbing her head. "Hey Hiei!" she said brightly. I moved my arm away just in case she was checking. She doesn't know but I didn't want to risk it.

(Just so you know I'm always making Kitty change everyday because she can't find a hair color she likes. Today she has black hair and at the ends are dyed a red and yellow flames. She's wearing jean caprirs, with a hole in the left knee. A black shirt with Scorpio and some other stuff written on it in blue writing and an old pair of tenashoes. Just so you know she's thirteen, lives with her mom and is the angle of death)


	2. The Story Unfolds

Kitty's pov

It was sooo boring walking with these guys. I mean how can they go so long without talking? Some one had to break the ice so I did. "Hey did you guys know that when Kurama, Yusuke, and Kuwabara wear the same clothes as the power puff girls? Kurama wears pink like blossom, Yusuke wears green like buttercup, and Kuwabara wears blue like bubbles. And you guys are a lot like them! Funny huh?"

They were quiet for a while. They were thinking about what I said... I think. "Hey! We do!" said Yusuke.

"What's power puff girls?" asked Hiei.

"Three preschoolers that have super powers, that fight crime," said Kuwabara. He showed up a few blocks ago, "Not that I watch it though," he added quickly.

I looked at Hiei. He looked confused. But I don't think he really cared about human TV shows, so I left him alone. Then I saw his arm. There were strange markings on it. It took me awhile, but then I noticed it was dry blood! He looked at me for a second then moved his arm out of sight. We stared at each other for a second. I knew something was up, and he didn't want me to know about it.

They were almost to the temple. They were walking up the steps. Except Kitty, she stopped to have a snack with Kuwabara. The rest of them were already they're talking to Koema and someone else threw a TV.

"My students are strong and smart, they wont let you down," said Genkai.

Kitty came running up the steps with Kuwabara trailing behind her. She ran in to the screen door and started to fall down the stair. She quickly pulled her self up. And ran in.

"Doors are a waste of time and space," said Kitty with a mouth full of cookies while Kuwabara coming in the door.

"Most of them," said Genkai, rolling her eyes.

"Gwuess how maye cookies I hab in my mouff Yusukae!" said Kitty with drool coming out her mouth. She sucked it up which made Kurama wince a little.

"What did she say?" asked Yusukae.

"She said guess how many cookies she has in her mouth," said Hiei shaking his head.

"Oh, um. How can you understand her?" he asked. Hiei just shrugged. "I guess....four."

"No!" she said swallowing, "Ten! A new record."

There was an award silence. "Back to business," said Koema, "We need you to train so you will be ready for anything."

"Who's they?" asked Kitty.

Koema turned around. "You scared them off!" he said with a vein popping. "Anyways," he continued back to normal, "we will have you be fighting in pairs. Yusukae and Genkai, Kurama and Kuwabara, and Hiei and Kitty."

"Hey! Wait I thought you said we were training?" said Kitty confused.

Yusukae and Kuwabara snickered. "That's what he meant Kitty. We will be practicing fighting," said Kurama calmly.

"Yeah!" Kitty exclaimed jumping at Hiei. But he stepped backwards and she fell over. "So anyways," she said picking her self up and dusting off her clothes, "when do we start?"

"Now!" said Botan.


	3. What should I do?

Hiei POV

This training is completely useless. Even though Kitty has weird powers and we get along ok, she still can be immature. Till she starts fighting. I can feel my knees getting week. I can't let them see that. I'll be fine. We walk deeper into the forest. We start fighting. We draw our swords. (Like I'm going to do a fight scene, maybe later though I'm not that good)

Normal POV

Hiei and Kitty are heading back after fighting for two and a half hours. "What took you so long?" asked Yusukae.

"We wanted to fight longer, because we can handle it," said Kitty in a teasing voice. "Hiei still wanted to keep fighting though, but I want to eat."

"When are ever you not eating?" asked Kurama with a small smile.

"When I'm sleeping...sometimes." She said. She pulled out some beef sticks. "You guys want some?"

Yusukae and Kuwabara took them eagerly. "I'll pass," said Kurama.

Kitty just shrugged, "Well, ok." She looked over, "You want some Hiei." He shook his head fast.

When they were done they were ready to start again. "I want to wait longer. I'm still tired!" whined Kitty.

"Hn hurry up. I'm not waiting much longer," said Hiei annoyed. He got up to walk but fell. Everyone ran over.

"You ok Hiei?" asked Kitty nervously.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said dazed. Everything seemed to swirl before him.

"Thought you weren't tired?" asked Kuwabara smiling.

"I'm not," Hiei said flatly. He got up and turned away.

"Hiei, is there something you aren't telling us?" asked Kurama.

Hiei paused, "No, nothing is going on. I'm fine."

"You sure?" Yusukae asked.

"I said I'm fine!" Hiei said starting to get angry. He walked away. The rest of them looked at each other with confused looks. Kitty watched him walk away. She was nervous, very nervous.

(Kitty is now wearing white long sleeve shirt with a blue, and purple screen t-shirt over it that had a picture of Ralph from the Simpson picking his nose and below him it said I'm very picky, and a pair a light blue jeans. Just so you know that's what I'm wearing. Her hair is strawberry blonde with neon purple streaks in it put back in a blue headband.)

Kitty POV

Later that week the rest of the team would be coming to my house. I wanted to check up on Hiei anyways. Good thing my mom left and wont be back for a few months. I cleaned the house and got everything ready. Lots of beef sticks and things high in sugar!

Later that day-

"You, guys want anything to eat?" I asked.

"YES!" said Yusukae and Kuwabara in unison.

Kurama only smiled and nodded. Hiei just stared at the wall. "What bout you Hiei? Want any thing?" I asked.

"No."

"You sure?"

"I said no didn't I?"

"Fine then," I shrugged and left to get some stuff. I got some beef sticks, candy, and pop.

"We only got this stuff," I said, "Haven't been shopping in awhile."

"It's fine," Kurama politely said.

"What ever just give fork it over!" Kuwabara said.

I jumped on the couch with them landing in the middle of Yusukae and Hiei. And I started eating beef sticks my favorite!

"You sure you don't want any thing, Hiei?" Yusukae asked.

I looked at him he just stared at the wall.

"Hiei? Hiei?" he said. Hiei just kept staring at the wall. "I give up!" he said with a sigh.

Even more later Kitty and Hiei alone in the kitchen Kitty POV-

"Hiei, I know you haven't been eating," I said. He pretended not to know what I was talking about. "I recognized how you fell, we learned about it in health class at school"

He just stared at his feet with his arms crossed. "Tell me! Are you?" I said worried. "You can tell me any thing, I wont tell."

He waited, "What if I am?"

"Is that a yes?"

"....Yes."

"Hiei! This could be a big problem! You have to eat now!" I went to the fridge and took out a sandwich. "Eat this and get some milk. Ok?" I said.

"Sure," he said rolling his eyes.

I left to go upstairs to get something, but when I looked back I saw him give it to my dogs."

"They don't care, I don't care" I heard him mutter.

I ran towards him. "I saw what you did!"

He just shrugged.

"You have to eat!" I said with tears coming to my eyes.

He just shrugged :I don't care. You shouldn't care either." He said smirking.

"Well I do care ok! You're my best friend and I'm not going to let you hurt your self!"

"Promise you wont tell?" he asked.

"I'm not sure," I said. "I don't think I should."

"If I'm your friend you wont"

I paused. "Ok I promise." Then we shook hands and went to the living room again. He looked pale paler than usual. I wanted to tell. But I want to be a good friend. What should I do? This could turn out to be a life or death situation. I think. Should I just watch him slowly kill himself? What would you do? Be a friend and not tell or tell and risk your friendship?? Why me!!

(I have lots of homework to do update as soon as I can. Depends on reviews. Hope you liked it!)


	4. LOL i hate naming titles!

(Sweet reviews. Guess that means its time to update!)

Hiei POV- I don't know why she cared. I don't know one else does. We are all alone in this world. I don't know why I'm staying at her house. I need to leave. I have something to do. I climbed out the window and ran to the forest.

The forest-

I went to the place where I buried my knife. I decided to bring it with just in case if they don't want me to leave. Before I left I placed the blade up to my bare arm. This time instead of laying it on top I dug it in a little. It left a trail of blood. I did it over and over. The pain helped me forget. Forget everything that has happened to me. I wrapped up those cuts and left.

Kitty's house Yusuke POV-

I knew something was up with Hiei. I know him better then he thinks I do. I went to go check up on him. He was in the hallway. We just stared at each other for a second. Then I noticed a red mark on his sleeve. I knew what it was. "What's that?" I asked pointing to his arm.

He looked and moved his arm. "Nothing important." HE went back to staring, "You shouldn't care. I don't"

"Ok calm down," I said with a smile. Then I let him be alone.

Kitty POV

What am I supposed to do? I can't let him do this. We are all now in the living room again. Kuwabara is working on punching and Hiei is blocking them. Just so you know He's helping Kuwabara. Hiei looked so bored and showed no sings of getting tired. Maybe that meant he was eating again. I relaxed little. Kurama and Yusuke watched in amusement.

"Get ting tired," puffed Kuwabara. "Need to take brake."

We all sat awhile, except Hiei. I don't think he wanted to. "How long is this going to take?" he asked.

"Five minutes" Kuwabara said which made Hiei rolled his eyes. I say his knees shaking a little all a sudden he fell. Kurama and Yusuke ran over to help him up. "I knew we should have taken five minutes, especially if shorty is tired," said Kuwabara. I just stood there.

"Hiei, are you sure you are ok?" said Kurama curiously. "You fell later this week too."

"I'm fine," Hiei said, getting up.

I paused. I knew he was lying. I had to make a decision quick. Let him keep doing this to himself or tell some one and have them help him because I can't change his mind my self. I finally decided. I had to stop this. "No, he's not ok. He's been starving himself. He told me."

Everyone was staring at me. I glanced at Hiei quick and the turned away. I didn't want to see the look on his face. He didn't look sad, or mad. Not even disappointed. Just a blank expression.

(I'll update sooner depends on reviews or homework. CIA till next time)


	5. another Chapter another beef stckTHsi ch...

Guess what I'm babysitting so I'm updating sooner. I still don't own yu yu hakusho. How many times do I have to write this??

Normal POV-

Every one was now looking from Hiei to Kitty. "You sure?" asked Yusuke. Kitty nodded. "I mean Hiei, is this true?" he said blankly. Hiei still on the floor looked at the ground. He slowly nodded on his head.

"When was the last time you ate?" asked kurama looking half concerted.

"What's today?" asked Hiei.

"Wednesday."

"Then," he paused, "three weeks ago." This remark made Kuwabara jump.

"Are you kidding?" he said.

"Kuwabara," Kurama interrupted.

"I cant even four five hours! How can you go three weeks! Are you crazy!" he said loudly. Hiei didn't look hurt or amused. He looked bored. Apparently he hates the attention.

"You're kidding right Hiei?" asked Yusuke. He was too amazed. "Wait I don't think that's all." He grabbed Hiei's arm. Hiei only struggled little. Yusuke moved up his sleeve, and undid that bandages. They all saw his cuts there had to be over fifty.

"Hiei! What have you been doin to your self!" said Kurama shocked. Hiei still stared at the floor. Kitty looked like she was going to cry.

"Hiei," said Kurama calmly, "can you tell us what's going on."

Hiei looked at them all "I don't care."

"What?" said Kuwabara?

Hiei never changed his expression. He looked blank. "I don't care what happens to me. I gave up caring."

"Why?" asked Yusuke? "I hate my self sometime, but I never hurt myself. Hiei either got bored or angry. He got up and left. They all sat staring at each other. "Do you think he hates me?" asked Kitty quietly, "I promised him I wouldn't tell. I'm a bad friend." She started to cry.

Yusuke walked over to her and put his arm around her, "He might be mad but only for awhile."

"Besides," said Kurama joining them, "you helped him. Who knows what he could have done to himself if you didn't tell."

"Really?" Kitty said perking up.

"Yeah," added in Kuwabara.

"Who should talk to him?" asked Kitty.

"I will later tonight," said Kuwabara.

"Good luck this ones going to be hard," said Yusuke.

"Harder than it was when I got gum stuck in Kuwabara hair when he was sleeping," said Kitty. They all looked at her except Yusuke. He only smiled. "Oops," she said, "He wasn't supposed to know that."

"When was this!" Kuwabara asked getting louder.

"Remember that one time you fell asleep here last month," she said slowly. He nodded. "Well I need a place to put my gum and I did one meenie mine mo and it landed on your hair." She looked at him. "Don't worry I yanked it out though!" she added quickly.

"I thought I felt something!" he said.

(I'll update tomorrow. There are seven peoples in my family, so it's hard to get a computer, but my brother has a football game tomorrow so I can then. CIA and review.)


	6. Antoher POV

Blah blah blah don't own yu yu hakusho. Yeah updating time.

Kuwabara's POV

I'm going to have so much fun talking to shorty. This is going to be easy. He always does what you say, usually. They don't know what they're talking about saying this will be hard.

I had him in the living room. He didn't looked like he carried, I wasn't sure he was paying attention. "Ok shorty listen up." I said, he looked half up. "You got to stop doing this to yourself. Why don't you care?"

"Haven't you noticed yet? I don't care don't you humans listen?" He said.

"But why!" I said getting mad.

He just stood there. I couldn't take it any more. I pinned him up against the wall. I looked into his eyes. This time he looked at me. We stared into each other's eyes. They seemed unhappy. There was no sign of anger or sadness. Something else. His eye color seemed to swirl around. I couldn't tell how he was feeling. "Shor.. Hiei, you have to stop doing this. You understand."

"I do but I'm not," he said. I could tell he wasn't going to give in so I gave up and joined the others for another plan.

(Short, very short but I got more. Be sides I'm still recovering from school pixs today.)


	7. Cut

What I said before

Hiei's POV

Cut "They don't care

Cut "I don't care"

Cut "They don't need me"

Cut "I don't need them"

Cut "They hate me"

Cut "I hate me"

Cut "none cares"

Cut "I wont stop doing this"

Cut "I hate everything"

Cut "I'm just a moving shadow"

Cut "and nothing more"

Cut "I can be nothing else"

Cut "I'm alone and I want to stay alone"

Cut "I always have been alone"

Cut "I'm a moving shadow and nothing more"


	8. I'm so bored

I'm sooo bored ill just keep updating (What I meant by the power puff girl thing when those three are in their uniforms the have the same colors. Yusuke is wearing green like buttercups dress. And Kurmas clothes look kind of pink (my TV mite is messed up. And Kuwabara's is blue like bubbles dress. I don't know who to spell Yuskae's name so tell me)

Kitty's POV

I don't know what to do I told Hiei to meet me in the tree in the backyard around 12 though. Just to talk.

12:00 am

We're both sitting in my tree. Just staring at each other. I started to talk. "Why?" I asked suddenly.

He just stares at me. "Why are you doing this? I can't take it when my friends get hurt! Especially if they are the ones doing it! Why are you doing this."?

"You've had a miserable past too right?" Hiei asked.

"Yes, but" I started to say but he cut me off.

"Don't you want to forget it?" He went on.

"Yes"

"That's why I do it. The pain helps me forget about it."

I didn't know what to say. I knew what he was talking about. I thought about my past. I did want to forget. He wants to for get his. "I don't think you should be hurting yourself, but I'll go along with it," I said, he smirked, "Until it gets dangerous," I added.

Later that morning Regular POV

"You sure we can leave them alone?" asked Yusuke.

"I think we can trust them," Kurama replied. They were going to Genkia's to ask for advise about Hiei. "Kitty just call us if anything goes wrong," he said looking from Kitty to Hiei.

Kitty held up her cell phone, "yeah yeah yeah I got the phone. We'll be fine. I'm just problem going to be eating and stuff"

Later-

"Does this really help?" I asked. I got out two benders and plugged them in. Even if this was my idea, I still wasn't sure. I never stuck my hand in a blender. I mean when it's on anyways. "What do you want it on? Blended and sliced? (I don't know the settings I forget)

"I don't care," Hiei said.

I started the blender. We put our hands over our own. I lowered my hand down. Not as fast as Hiei though. He placed hi hand lightly above the blade. I saw him bleed. He didn't even wince! I almost did but then Yusuke(I don't know how to spell it so shut up I don't really care either! That's what it said on one website though so don't blame me!) Kurama and Kuwabara came in. They looked at each other quick and then Yusuke tackled Hiei to the ground and held him down. He was too tired form not eating to fight back. He started to fall asleep while Yusuke examined his hand. I took my hand out of the blender. I knew I was in trouble. Big trouble.

(Sorry bout my last chapters. I've been having emotional problems, school problems, and friend problems. The starving and cutting thing is my problem. I have a horrible self a steam so be nice. I'm trying to do better but like I said I'm having problems. I hope u like it though. I'll update soon..Mabey.. If u wants me too)


	9. flash back

Just so you know the story aint that serious. How did I think of a blender '. I'm sooo creative. Thank you Animefreak54! I always get a boost of self a steam went you review! On with story.

Normal POV

"What were you thinking!" Yuskae shouted at Kitty and Hiei. Hiei was up again, and not paying attention. Kitty was looking at the floor.

"Yuskae," Kurama interrupted.

"A blender! Why a blender!" He shouted.

"Maybe it was the shiny buttons" Kitty said sarcastically

"This is no time for joking Kitty!" Yuskae said getting mad at the remark. "You were supposed to be watching him! Not helping him! What where you thinking!"

"Exactly what he was thinking," said Kitty. Her attitude was getting him mad. Hiei was too busy concentrating on looking out the window. He was memorizing the colors of the car parked. 'Red, blue, white. Red, blue, white.'

"Hiei!" hearing his name got his attention, "Do you want to talk about it?" asked Yuskae.

Hiei just stared. Thinking of the first time he cut himself.

-Flash back- (Another thing from Cut which I don't own either.)

Hiei POV

I walked into Kitty's house for another pointless meeting. I went to the dining room to see if any one is there. All that was there were some ribbons and a craft knife. Then I placed the blade next to the skin on my arm. A tingle went across my scalp. The floor tipped up at me and my world spiraled away. Then I was on the ceiling looking down, waiting to see what would happen next. What happened next was that a perfect, straight line of blood bloomed from the edge of the blade. The fine grew into a crimson bubble that got bigger and bigger. I watched from above, waiting to see how big it would get before it would burst. When it did I felt satisfied. And then Exhausted. I never cut myself too deep, never enough to die. But enough too feel pain. Enough to feel the scream inside.

-End flash back-

Hiei recovering from his flash back said "I told you already. I don't care. You don't care. I don't care about pain. I want to hurt myself."

There was a moment of silence.

"But why?" asked Kuwabara.

"Wont you listening? I don't care," he said with empty eyes, "I don't care what happens to me. I gave up caring. I don't matter. I never have mattered. I never will"

"But I care," Kitty said looking at everyone, "We all care. And we want you to stop."

"I don't want to stop. I won't stop," Hiei said then he got so tired he slowly fell asleep.

Later-

"I wish he would stop," said Kitty, "Get any good advise?"

"Kind of," Kurama said.

"What did he mean by that though?" asked Kuwabara.

"He doesn't care, he thinks no one cares. He wont stop no matter what," said Yuskae looking at the ceiling.

"Kitty, do you know why he is doing this?" asked Kurama.

She paused a moment too long. "You know don't you!" Kuwabara yelled.

"Shhh," said Kurama, "you'll wake up Hiei."

"Tell us!" he said this time except quieter.

"No! I already told you what he was doing! I can't break another promise!" Kitty said crying.

"You have to tell, we could help him," Kurama said.

"No! I wont tell!" She said storming away

To be continued...

Sorry to cut it short I got homework to do. ALOT! O well ill update tomorrow. Depends on reviews. I think I spell Yuskae's name right/ stupid sister gave me the other way!


	10. Elmo Elmo has nothing to do with story

Hn. Its Friday night and nothing to do. You know what that means? More chapters "Woohoo" Last time when I left them Hiei was sleeping. Kitty left and that's all I remember.

(Kitty is now wearing a pink shirt with a white jacket over it, a short black skirt and knee high black leather boots. Her hair is now wavy red.)

The next day at Genki's temple-

"Ok let's try again," Yuskae said with a sigh, "why are u doing this?"

Hiei just stared at them. Not showing any sign of weakness. He new if he did any thing from leaning back or moving any little bit they would think he was going to talk. So he sat there with his arms crossed. Not moving. No expression what so ever.

"See," said Yuskae throwing his arms in the air, "He doesn't do any thing! He doesn't want to talk!"

"Hmm I think I know what we should do," Geki started to say.

"I say we shake it out of him!" said Kuwabara. He went over and tried to shake Hiei but he couldn't move him. Kurama shook his head and Kitty rolled her eyes.

"This is pointless," she said, "If he doesn't want to talk about it don't make him."

Hiei started to get tired. (Because if you don't eat enough you get tired, just so you know) He blacked three times. It was hard to focus. Everything seemed to be swirling. He knew he couldn't show he was tired. That would make it worse.

"There's no way he's going to talk," Yuskae said.

"We'll find away," Kurama said.

"We can't help you if you don't talk," Geki said.

"Duh! I think he knows that," Kitty said rolling her eyes.

"Don't talk to your elder like that," Genki scolded her.

"Screw you hag," She said under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, nothing at al," she said smirking.

"Kitty what's gotten into you today?" asked Yuskae.

"Nothing, I can do what ever I want and so can he," she said pointing to Hiei.

"So you don't care what happens to him?" asked Yuskae.

"I didn't say that! Don't twist my words!" she yelled standing up. While every body else was fighting, Hiei snuck out and went to the forest.

Hiei POV

I went back to the spot I usually go to. I dug out my knife. I placed the blade on my skin again. I saw my blood rise from under the blade. My world spun around me. My eyes went black this never happened before.

Back at the temple-

They finally stopped fighting. "Where's Hiei?" asked Kurama.

They all look around. They didn't see him. They all ran out the door and spread out.

Kurama POV-

I don't know how he got out with out making any noise. But then again he's Hiei. I had to find him. Who knows what he could of done?

Kitty POV-

This is all my fault! God it's so hard to run in theses boots. Why did I have to start the fight! I hope he isn't doing any thing dangerous. I'm with Yuskae. "Wait! I know where to find him!" I said stopping in my tracks.

"You do! Where!"

"This way" We run right and then left. We find him lying on the ground. He has a horrible cut on his arm. I didn't know what to do. But Yuskae brought bandages with cause he was thinking ahead. He wrapped up the cut and picks him up. Ten we went to tell the others while Yuskae carried him back to the temple.

That's all for now! Will Hiei wake up? Will it thick of a title that fits the story? Maybe yes, maybe no! Review blah blah blah


	11. Some one owes me a cookie bag!

U

D

A

T

I

N

G

T

I

M

E

Hiei POV-

Why is so it so dark? Where am I? What happened? I can hear voices but they seem so far away. O well. I don't care

Normal POV-

Hiei slowly opened his eyes to see every one staring at him. He was lying on the floor. "What happened?" he asked.

"By the looks of it, you left when we were fighting and cut yourself," Kitty said with a smirk, "You cut your self pretty bad. I think you blacked out."

"What does blacked out mean?" asked Kuwabara.

"What does it sound like?" Kitty replied. He thought about that for a second.

"Oh"

"Where are we?" asked Hiei.

"My house!" Kitty said jumping up and down. "Now we are going to try one of our plans. Psychiatry!"

Hiei sat on the couch between Kurama and Yusuke. Kuwabara and Kitty were going to ask the questions.

"Ok, I'll start," Kuwabara, said trying to sound important. "Make it as difficult as you want shorty. I practiced. I can't take anything you throw at me."

"I'm going to make you eat those words," Hiei said smirking.

"Ok, lets start with your past," Kuwabara started.

"We're not going to talk about that," Hiei said.

"Ok then, lets do ink blots," He said pulling out cards with inkblots, "What do you see?"

"An ink blot."

"Ok then what about this one?"

"An ink blot."

"Ok then what about this one?"

"An ink blot."

"Stop saying that!"

But you asked me what I say. And I saw an ink blot," Hiei said smirking.

"No! You're supposed to say what the ink blot looks like!" Kuwabara said turning slightly red. He pulled out a new one, "What does this look like?"

"A human try his hardest to make an ink blot look like something but failing miserably," Hiei said.

Kuwabara threw his arms up in the air, "I give up!"

"Wait! I know what we can do!" Kitty said. She leaned over to Kuwabara and whispered in his ear their plan.

"Ok then," he said with a small smile, "Fine Hiei, hate yourself."

"Ok, I will."

"Then go ahead."

"Ok then," Hiei said smirking.

"Um hang on never mind. Cut yourself."

"Ok then I will."

"You can do it if you want to."

"I can and I will."

"Hm wait never mind what I said. Fine starve yourself then."

"Aren't I already doing that?"

"Uh yeah but know you can."

"But I already was."

"I know that!"

"Then why did you tell be to do it then?"

"Because," Kuwabara said. He leaned toward Kitty. "I don't think this is going to work," he said loudly.

"What was your first clue genius?" Hiei said rolling his eyes.

"I'm warning you shorty! Don't get me mad! I'll pulverize you!"

"I'd like to see you try."

"Grrr"

"Ok," Kitty said, "Reverse psychiatry didn't work. I don't know why. When my mom does it I always fall for it."

"That's because he's not stupid like you," Yusuke said.

"Ok brake it up," Kurama cut in. "That's enough for now. We'll try later."

"You're going to have to try harder," Hiei said smirking.

Hiei," warned Kurama, "We are going to help. If you like it or not."

That's all for now. Animefreak54 you owe me a bag of cookies. Than you Hiei-lone wolf for correcting my mistake. And I wont let Hiei die. I like him too much. Now if it was Kuwabara that's a different story.. I'll update sooner then you think. Maybe even now.


	12. randomness conversation

I will never get my cookies will I? ;;. It's not nice to tease some one with cookies if their name is sugar lover. That's just cruel and unusual. Time to update. (I want those cookies!)

(Kitty is now wearing black jeans and a blue shirt with Ralf picking his nose and saying I'm special, tennishoes, and her hair is still wavy but blonde. I changed it to blonde cause the friend that I'm mad at has red hair.)

"Ok so the psychiatry didn't work," kitty said, "What should we do?"

"Maybe act like nothing is going on just like we used to," Yusuke suggested.

"Yeah! I miss the olden days," Kitty cheered, "Do we have to talk like the old English people."

They all stare at her. "Sure, if you want to," Kurama said scathing his head.

"Oh yea!" Kitty said, "Wait I mean. Cheerio! Time for a hunt!"

They all slowly walk away.

Later-

"What should we do?" asked Yusuke. They were still in Kitty's house.

"May I suggest that we watch Tellitubies?" Kitty asked.

"Why Tellitubies?" asked Yusuke.

"I prefer to laugh at their fatness. I look like they have been eating more then tubby toast, and tubby custard." She paused, "I'm giving up this fake accent. Its so hard to talk."

Hiei POV-

What the heck is Tellitubies? Why am I still even here? I cant leave they're to suspicious. I know what their plan is. So advise for Kuwabara. Don't write you plan down on paper and then pin it to a wall.

Kitty POV-

Why is it so echoy in here? Hello!

"Hello!" said an echo.

"O my god I'm hearing voices in my head!" she screamed. Everyone looked at her. She tried to run out of the room but accidentally ran into a wall.

Normal POV-

"Didn't cigarettes owned by the people who own chips ahoy?" asked Kuwabara staring at the ceiling.

"Nabisco?" Kitty said getting up. She and Yusuke cracked up. "Sure they did."

"Ha ha ha ha ha why did you think Nabisco did?" laughed Yusuke falling off his chair.

They stopped laughing after awhile. They were quiet again. "Does the word soap have one or two rest in it?" asked Kitty hanging upside down.

"I doesn't have any," Kurama said raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah but what if it did?" she said turning to him.

"I'm, not a good rhymier but I like lemons," Kitty said out of nowhere.

"What?" said Yusuke?

"Hey Yusuke?" Kitty asked.

"What?"

"Have you ever seen the movie constipated?"

"No"

"Cause it never came out!" they both were laughing at the floor.

"You know what the best commercial is," Kitty said getting up still laughing.

"What?" asked Kurama?

"That Toys R Us Easter commercial with the signing bunnies," Kitty said.

"What made you think of that?" Kurama said looking confused.

"That picture," she said pointing at an empty wall.

"There's nothing there," Kuwabara said.

"I know that."

"Then why did you say that?"

"Say what?"

"Never mind."

Hiei was watching them. No wonder why he thinks humans are so stupid. Well at least three of them are.

"I want some cookies," Kitty said.

"Do you have any?" asked Yusuke.

"No but some one owes me some," Kitty said, "Trust me I wont forget either."

That's all for now. I got to go to a soccer game. Hoped you liked it. I needed time to think of more things for Hiei to do so the random conversation helped. Till next time.


	13. what the last chapter titlte said

Still cant thinks of any thing. It will take me awhile cause I got to chew out my friend for telling a teacher bout my friend so I have to think happy thoughts so more random talking. (Thank you for the cookies I don't know why you thought I wanted them so bad though ')

Still in the living room-

"I know sign language," Kuwabara said.

"So do I," said Yusuke.

"I know one word and helps a lot," Kitty's said.

"What is it?" asked Kuwabara.

"This," Kitty said giving him the middle finger.

"Hey you little," He started to say.

"Where do babies come from?" asked Kitty.

They all paused. No one wanted to answer that. "Why don't you ask your mom," Kurama said.

"That's what everyone says," Kitty said with a sigh, "Hey Yusuke, have you ever thought about getting a fro?"

"No," said Yusuke.

"Do you want one?"

"No."

"Why cant penguins fly?" asked Kitty.

"I don't know," Kurama said.

"I think cause they are so fat."

"This one time," Kitty started to say. Every one sighed cause she was starting one her stories again. "I was chewing on a pen and this guy comes who is like my friends brothers girl friend second cousin thrice removed said 'I'm a better raper than you' And I was like 'so I like lemons.' The she was like 'So I like oranges.' The I said 'Well me favorite fruit is seaweed.'

Two hours later-

"And that's how I learned the meaning of the Chinese New Year. The End," She finished.

That took forever!" exclaimed Yusuke, "What does that have to do with you chewing on your pen?"

"If you chew on a pen in China they will kick you butt," Kitty said clueless.

"You didn't even go to China!" Yusuke said frustrated.

"Are you questioning the pink bunny slippers?" Said Kitty sitting up. She threatingly walk toward him. "How dare you! That's sax religious!"

"What does bunnies slippers have to do with religion?" asked Kurama.

Kitty paused. "I want some pie," she said. She walked into the kitchen. And came out later. "Want some" Only Yusuke and Kuwabara took some. It was gross looking but they didn't notice it.

"Why is it so crunchy?" Kuwabara asked.

"Cause I put my toe nail collection in it!" Kitty said happily. The two boys looked at each other spit it out on the floor.

"Don't you like it?" Kitty said with tears ion her eyes.

"No! Its horrible!" Kuwabara exclaimed.

Kitty started to cry, "I slave over a hot oven for five minutes for this!" She said in tears.

"Sorry just stop crying," said Yusuke.

"Ok!" she said instantly happy. Then her cell phone rang. She answered it. She listened to the person talk. She rolled her eyes. "Bye," she said hanging up.

"Who was it?" asked Kurama.

"Was it your mom?" asked Yusuke.

"No worse, Tea. She said she wanted to call her friend to see if everything is still friendship like," she said rolling her eyes.

"Everyone is her friend eventually," Yusuke said, "And Hiei is next."

"What are you smoking?" Hiei said turning his head toward Yusuke. They all laughed at his remark. Except Hiei. Nothing is funny about being teas friend.

"Pine apples are fun!" Kitty said randomly, "But cookies are better even if they are virtual!" (HINT! HINT!)

"Too bad you don't get paid for being stupid, "Hiei said, "Then you would be a millionaire."

"That wasn't nice Hiei," Kurama said with a small smile. Yusuke and Kuwabara were laughing on the floor.

"Wow! I would then I would be one step closer to finally buy something at the dollar store!" Kitty said cluelessly.

"Hn," was all Hiei could say. He knew he shouldn't use big words around her. So he kept his mouth shut.

That's all for now got to eat lunch CIA! Review. And what I said last time. Sorry for the random conversation.


	14. No more randomeness

Another Chapter. Hn. Some advise. Don't ask you friends what's it like living in a cloud of stupidity. Especially if they don't know where you got it from. Too bad you didn't see my friends face. O well. Back too depressing, well kind of

Hiei POV-

(This is from the poem thing I wrote.)

I hate everybody.

I'm alone

I don't need any one.

I don't want any one.

I don't care.

They don't care.

I am no one.

I have never been any one.

I'll never be any one.

I am a shadow.

Rarely seen.

I'm dark and alone.

I blend in with my surroundings.

I don't matter.

I am a shadow and nothing more.

Kitty POV-

I hate this. I can't take it any more. I want him to feel better. But I don t want him to hurt himself. I wish there was another way to do this. Maybe I should of kept my mouth shut. I hate myself. Why do I have to be so stupid? No wonder everyone thinks I'm dumb. I went into the living room to get Hiei. "Hiei," I said, "We're going out/" He rose one eyebrow. "Not like that,' I said, "Just got an idea for us to do. We can't tell the others though."

The last bit most of caught his attention. If it didn't concern the others it must have been serous. We got up and left to go downtown.

Normal POV-

"You know," Kuwabara started to say.

"No I don't," said Yusuke.

"I haven't heard shorty or Kitty for awhile," he said ignoring Yusuke.

Kurama and Yusuke looked at each other and sprung up. They searched all the rooms. Then they found a note in Kitty's handwriting. "Went out with Hiei. Be back when ever. Don't fallow," Kurama read. "I heard them leave but that was at eleven now it's six at night."

"We better call the girls to help us look," Yusuke said running to the phone. Then the rest of the search party came and they started to look.

Kitty POV- My head hurts. I don't know where I am. I'm dizzy. I feel sick. Everything is dark. It's cold out. Where am I?

Hiei- I remember what happened. At least a little. My head hurts. I don't want to get up. I just want to die.

Normal POV-

They separated into groups. Yusuke and Kayko, Kuwabara and Yukina, and Kurama, Shizuru, and Botan. They split up over down town. "Wait!" Kayko said to Yusuke, "I think I saw some one on the allay!" They run into a dark ally. A rat runs by their feet and Kayko gave a little scream. They went down a little further. Then the saw Kitty and Hiei asleep in the alley. They didn't look too good. Kayko called the others on her cell phone, and they all met up in the alley.

The next morning-

"What happened?" Kitty asked getting up.

"That's exactly what we were going to ask you," Kurama said frowning.

"Oh, last night, that thing," she said nervously. She was sitting next to Hiei on a couch. He looked dazed. "Well I'll tell what happened," she said

"You better," Yusuke, "You guys looked like you guys got drunk."

"Well, that's what happened," Kitty said with a nervous smile.

"What you are both underage! How did you get drunk?" asked Kayko.

"I'm friends with the bartender's son, he's not that responsible," Kitty said.

Go on," Kurama said.

"Wait how many did you guys drink?" asked Shizuru.

"Twenty," Kitty started to say.

"Twenty! Did you guys each have like ten then?" asked Kuwabara.

"Duh, no," Kitty said rolling her eyes, "We each had twenty. Oops."

"Twenty? Each? Are you crazy!" Yusuke said, "With the condition Hiei is in you're lucky he isn't dead!"

"Do you have anything to add Hiei?" asked Kurama.

"Kitty is a mean drunk, she punched out two people and broke an window by throwing a barstool threw it. That's all"

"Wow Kitty a mean drunk, should have seen that coming," Shizuru said.

"Don't be mad at Hiei. It was my idea, it was my fault," Kitty said with tears.

"It's ok," Kurama said calmingly, "Neither of you are on trouble."

"What?" said everyone in unison.

"We have been putting them under a lot of pressure. They were bound to crack," Kurama, "I was kind of expecting something like this."

"Fine they aren't in trouble," Yusuke said with a hint of disappointment in his voice.

Later-

Kayko was in looking through some of Kitty's old boxes she left out earlier. They were all going through her old stuff looking for stuff to get rid of. Except Hiei. The starving, bleeding, and then getting drunk hard core, made him feel extremely sick. He was sleeping on the couch.

"Hey what's this," Kitty asked pulling out a nutcracker.

"That's a nutcracker," Botan said in her usual perky voice.

Kitty had this weird expression on her face. She looked at the nutcracker, "Eww that's sick and wrong," she said dropping it.

"Not that kind of nut," Botan said shaking her head, "The kind you eat."

"Oh!" Kitty said, "Boy did I get this messed around. They went through her stuff till late afternoon. Hiei slept till the morning. He even slept through Kitty breaking every old plate with her dads name on it. That was about twenty all at once. (She hates her dad for leaving her and her mom)

That's all for now. Don't expect updates during the weekdays. You can check though. CIA till next time! Review. Whatever. Vote if you want more random conversations in your reviews.


	15. Antoher nameless title

I am sooo tired of writing random things so if you voted for randomness you just wasted some of your life. Back to the other stuff. Unsuspecting twist? I knew it was coming. Of course I'm writing this story...

Hiei POV-

(Another part of a poem I wrote. Like it hate it. Your options don't really matter to me.)

I'm alone.

Always have been,

Always will be.

I'm like a dark room,

Lonely and empty

I'm hard to see.

I'm dark and unwelcoming.

Nobody wants me.

I don't care.

Never trust any one.

Not even your self.

You don't need friends.

Friends will only weaken you.

They will get in your way.

I'm alone and always will be.

Normal POV-

"Boring, gay stupid, wait... never mind thought that was something else," Kitty said. It was like any other day nothing on TV nothing going on. Hiei was still sleeping. Kitty feeling horrible because she thinks it is her fault for making him worse. Everyone else is gone. Except Kuwabara who got the wonderful experience of babysitting. Hiei sat up. He still looked dazed. Till Kitty filled him on what happened. With the others gone he would use this to his advantage. He pretends to back to sleep. With Kitty focusing only on the TV. Not even blinking and Kuwabara trying to open a Pringles thing. Hiei could easily leave. He went up to one of the guest bathrooms.

Hiei POV-

Those humans are completely stupid. If they cared so much they should be paying more attention. But I don't care. I'll use this to my advantage. I pulled out a pocketknife out of my shoe. I always kept one in there just in case something came up. I ran out of space on my arms. I don't matter anyways. I put the blade up a little away from left my eye and cut a line half way to my ear. Then I did the same to the other. I ran the small blade down the palm of my right hand. Feeling the blood trickle down my face and it slowly moving off my palm to the floor. I'll fix that later. I cut the backside of my ears and then reopened my other cuts on my arms. Every single one of them. I watched the blood I couldn't take my eyes of it. Nothing mattered to me. Especially me. I don't care. I fixed up my arm and cleaned the floor. There was nothing I could do about my eyes and ears. If they found out I won't care. Let them find out. Let them care. I wont change my mind.

Normal POV-

"Ok Hiei," Yusuke said, "We're serious now. Can't you forget about your past?"

"You can never forget. No matter what. Your past makes you who you are. And I am no one. My past doesn't matter like I don't matter," Hiei said never changing his expression.

"Ok you can think that if you want, but just stop saying it," Yusuke said, "Your making Kitty go crazy and the rest of are having a hard time with this too. Can you please stop."

"It's not my fault you chose to care. You didn't have to. You still don't have to. You chose to worry," Hiei said. He got up and walked away.

"This is going to be very difficult," Yusuke muttered to himself.

Kayko's POV-

I finally caught on to what was going on. I know Hiei is well.. Let's say anti social, but I still care about him. I know this is hard on everyone especially him self. I want to find to help him but if he wont listens to his teammates I don't know who would listen to. But I know we can't give up hope. I wonder where Pu went?

Hiei POV-

I want to stop a little. But I can't. There's too much that time cannot erase. I have to keep doing this. None can help me. Nothing matters. I live in my own world. Alone. I don't want anyone. I'm the forbidden child. I am no one. I don't matter. I don't really exist. I am a shadow. I am a slave to everyone. I try so hard to tell my self that's not true. But I can't change who I am. I can't change my past. They try to help me but they cant. They say they can help me. But can they save me from myself?

Kitty POV-

Are we really alone in this world? Do our lives really matter? Nothing seems to be the same any more. My world has been turned around. Nothing is the same ant more.

Kuwabara POV-

I'm going to talk to shorty again. At least try to. I found him in the living room staring out a window. "Shorty," I said. He made no notice of me being there. He just stared out the window. "Ok listen up. I order you to stop this all now!" I said. That should do it. Hopefully. Nothing. He did nothing just stared out the window. He didn't even blink. He didn't even comment back. He just ignored me.

"Ok, I know you are ignoring me but listen," I said again. At least this time he looked at me. "You have to stop this now. Even if you don't want to. You have to. For the rest of us."

He just stared. It wasn't like his other stars. He wasn't mad. He looked almost dead. His eyes were like black hole, even though they are red, but you know what I mean. I could tell he didn't care. He wouldn't stop. He won't listen to any one. "I know you can't stop," I said nervously, "You can't stop, even if you wanted to. No matter how bad it gets."

He nodded. He didn't care. He really didn't care what happened to him. I never thought of shorty that way. I always thought he was kind of weird. But I felt sorry for him. I don't really know why but I didn't like him hurting himself. I wasn't going to give up. I have to find a way.

Hiei POV-

Nice try fool. But it will take more than that to help me. Way more. Better Luck next time.

That's all for now. Will they help Hiei? Will they find Pu? Will Kitty find a TV channel? Update later when I feel like it.


	16. I dont care

Sorry I wont be able to update a lot. I'm having school problems, friend problems, and extremely bad emotional problems. So what ever.

"Ok Hiei," Kitty said, "we're alone, so I can do some work."

Hiei watched her with half interest. She hasn't tried anything yet. He wondered what he was up against. 'This is wasting my time,' he thought. She led him into the bathroom. She took out a hand mirror. "Ok," she said holding it up to him, "What do you think when you see yourself?"

He stared. Kitty hoped her plan would work. He didn't do anything. He slowly moved his right hand into a fist, and punched the mirror. Kitty jumped back. "Oh my God! Are you ok?" she asked nervously. He was either stunned or didn't know what to do. He looked at his him. It was covered on crimson blood. Slowly dripping onto the floor. His world swirled around him. Everything turned red. He fell to his knees. Kitty ran to get someone.

She came back in a few seconds with Yusuke. "Hiei, you ok?" he asked bending down to the floor so her was at eye level with him. Hiei just stared at his hand. Like he couldn't take his eyes off it. Yusuke cleaned it up and wrapped it up with bandages. "Are you going to be ok?" He asked pulling Hiei up.

Hiei POV-

Why did Kitty show me that? What was she thinking? I hate myself. She didn't help. I just hate myself more. They all should give up. It's to late for me. They don't know why I had to do this. Once I did it once, I couldn't stop. I have to do it again, and again, and again....

Kuwabara POV-

Going to take another crack at fixing shorty. This better work. We're now in the sitting room. "Ok shorty lets make this quick. You don't want to do this. Lets get it over with."

"Fine then," he said, "I hate myself. Always have always will. I dint care neither should you."

"Ok.. But why do you do that to yourself?"

"I don't know why. I just have to. Sometimes o don't want to but I think I have to. It's kind of a high. I can't stop not matter what. I'm almost obsessed with cutting myself."

I didn't know what to think. This is hard for me. I don't know why. It just is. I hate hearing him talk like this. "But why?" I asked again.

"I don't care."

"We care."

"I don't. I'm alone. I don't need anyone. No one cared before I don't know why you care now."

Hiei POV-

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I am no one

Cut I am no one

Cut I am no one

Cut I am no one

Cut I am no one

Cut I am no one

Cut I am no one

Cut I am no one

Cut I am no one

Cut I am no one

Kuwabara POV-

What shorty said made me feel bad. I cant cal him shorty anymore without tearing up inside. I always thought he was different, but I didn't think he hated himself. I don't know why he does. He's ok. I wish he would stop cutting himself and start eating again. We might not be that close but I do care about him. I mean we are teammates. We are Kind of friends. He avoids every one most of the time. I wish I knew why. I hate myself for saying that stuff to him. It could have been destroying himself from the inside. I have to report what shorty, I mean Hiei said.

Hiei POV-

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I hate myself

Cut I am no one

Cut I am no one

Cut I am no one

Cut I am no one

Cut I am no one

Cut I am no one

Cut I am no one

Cut I am no one

Cut I am no one

Cut I am no one

That's all for now. I got problems to solve. Things to do. Things you don't need to know about. Expect this story to get more depressing. I'm not in the mood for happy time. I never am anymore. I'll try it make it more depressing for those who like that kind of story. CIA whatever review.


	17. A Hiei POV moment

I love to write so I'll update. I'm not very good at it though. I have to concentrate in school though later on. I'm failing math and science. And my math teacher and one of my old teachers live across the street 'Lucky me!' On with the story.

Hiei POV-

I know they are always watching me. They don't trust me. I don't trust me. They try to cheer me up. It won't work. I'm pasted being cheered up. I can feel their eyes. They feel sorry for me. I don't. They want to help. I don't want help. They want me to smile. I won't smile. I don't smile. I can't smile. I don't know the meaning of smiling. Smiling only hides what's wrong. They don't bug people who smile. They are all happy. They don't know what its like to be me. They don't want to know. Our actions can change everything. But they can't change how you really feel. They change how you look on the outside, not the inside. I can pretend there is nothing wrong when something really is. I can't smile. It's too late for smiling. I have nothing to smile about.

I tried to sleep tonight. But I cant. I move uneasily. I can hear Kurama's footsteps in the hall. They come closer. I can't stay in a room by myself at night. I'm stuck in here with the fool. They take turns patrolling the halls to make sure I don't leave. But they don't know what I have hidden in hear. I try to get up, but I cant. I want to but I don't have the energy. I have this weird feeling. I feel sick. Like there is something inside me. It won't leave. I get dizzy. I coughed up some blood. I had this feelingly like I have been running for many miles. My sides hurt. My throat feels like its closing up. My left foot feel has a sharp pain in it. My hands are ice cold.

"Hiei you of?" Kuwabara said getting up. I shale my head. I coughed again. More blood. "I'm going to get someone," he said getting up quickly. I try to stop coughing, but I cant. My symptoms get worse. I can feel my energy draining from me. I just lay there. I'm not even going to try to get up.

"Hiei!" Kurama says rushing in with Yusuke and Kuwabara closely behind him. "Are you ok?" I shake my head. "Ok tell me what's wrong." I tell him how I feel.

"Ok I'll look threw my medical book and see if I can find anything," he said.

"You two," he said pointing the two, "make sure he doesn't fall asleep. If he does he might never wake up."

He left to get his medical book, while I tried to stay awake. Those two watched me. They looked worried.

That's all for now. Will Hiei get better? Will he die or get better? Think what you want but his fate is in my hands. Thanks for the reviews I'll write whenever I have the chance. Sorry it was so short.


	18. i dont like to name chapters

My friend problem is over. I just ignored her till she cracked. I didn't have to say I was sorry. I didn't do anything. I never say sorry, even if I was wrong. I keep quiet till they crack. That's enough about me. Back to the story.

Kitty POV-

Everything you do can change your future every step you take. Every breath you breathe. Forget about your past. Find a dream and stick to it. You have to trust your instincts. Trust yourself. Every moment of your life counts. When you feel down and low, trust yourself. You can't hide forever. Let go of yesterday. Every moment can change your life.

Hiei POV-

I can't take it any more. It's so hard being I. Living in a shadow. Once you live in one, it's hard to leave. I feel sick. I can't take it any more. What's taking Kurama so long? I heard the door open. Kurama came in carrying a book. "I can fix this quick. The antidote is simple," He said with a smile. That made everyone else smile. But not me, I don't smile. "But if I don't hurry he could die," he added. I hope he takes his time. I don't care any more. What happens happens and there is nothing you cant changes that.

The next morning normal POV-

(Kitty- light purple hair. Army pant, whit shirt, jean jacket.)

"Some people say a jar is either half full or half empty. I say you care just drink it. It all ends up the same in the end," Kitty said. They all stared at her in an awkward silence.

"So what's up?" she asked. "I heard you guys up last night."

"Nothing much," Yusuke said casually, "Hiei just came to a near death."

"Oh," she said drinking orange juice, when she realizes what he said she spit it out right in Kuwabara's face. "What the hell! Why didn't you wake me up? God you people don't tell me any thing!"

"We didn't have time to wake you up," Kuwabara said whipping off the juice.

"Whatever, I'm going to try to make Hiei eat today," she said, "We only have tried to stop him from cutting himself."

She went over to the cupboards and pulled out some peanut butter. She opened it held it up close to Hiei's face. "Look at the peanut butter Hiei," she said, "It's so shiny." She spaced out looking at the peanut butter. He looked at her. 'What the hell is she talking about. I'm not going to eat that. I don't want.'

"Kitty," Yusuke said snapping his fingers in her face, "Hello."

She came to her senses. "Oh sorry. Shinny things make me space out."

"I think he was going to eat it," Yusuke said sarcastically.

"Really you think so?" asked Kuwabara.

"Cant you tell when some ones sarcastic?" Kitty asked rolling her eyes. "He wasn't even close."

Kuwabara POV-

Shorty scared me last night. I really thought he was going to die. I think he wanted to. I hate orange juice.

Hiei POV-

Cut I will no happy ending

Cut my memories are best forgotten

Cut they say I'm being difficult

Cut they think they know me

Cut they don't know any thing

Cut every time I try I fall

Cut I am nothing

Cut there is just too much that time cannot erase

Cut I will not have a happy ending

Normal POV-

"I think if we try to convince him we care about him he will listen to us," Kayko said.

They go bring Hiei into the living room.

"Hiei did you ever know that you are my hero," Kitty sang. Yusuke, Shizuru, and Kuwabara started to laugh hysterically.

Hiei looked both confused. "Say that again and I'll kill you," he said. Everyone stopped laughing. It's not funny when Hiei says he'll kill someone.

"Ok. I think we made him mad enough. Let's try some other time," Yusuke said. They all nodded.

Kitty POV-

You always seemed like a hero to me. Like an older brother. All of you were. But Kuwabara was more like an older sister. I'm trying to help you. I think you have been alone for so long you forgot what's its like to care.

Hiei POV-

I'm power less against myself. I've fallen so much. I'm lost in darkness. No one can help me. They don't know how I feel. I can't go back. I don't know the meaning the meaning of perfect. I can't find a color. I'm black. Dark and full of hate. Different does feel any different then the same. I don't feel any thing any more. My scenes have gone numb. I want to go away. You cant see into my eyes. I'm living in my cold world. I'm dead in the inside. You might think I'm awake. Save me from the nothing I have become. I cant breath from where I am. Wake me up. I don't care who does. I lost myself in my darkness of my heart. Frozen inside. No one can save me no matter how they try. I can't open my eyes. I have been lining in a nightmare. I can't wake up. I can't let any one in. I can't show any weakness. Even if it means destroying y self form the inside out. I can't trust anyone.

Sorry to cut it short. I have stuff to do. Sorry I can't write. Review whatever.


	19. My opnions dont matter but what the hell...

God, you people are so picky it's just a damn story, get over it. Hiei wants some one to help him but he doesn't want people to get close to him. He's confused about how he feels. I made him confused about how he feels because that's how I feel now. And when it says cut on Hiei's pov that means he's cutting himself. I changed my personality over the summer just to bug people or when I'm but now I cant go back to how I am so I'm trying to get over this identity crisis. Just so you know don't copy Hiei's personality for fun cause once I did once I couldn't go back. You people don't understand, and neither do I. I gave up caring like Hiei. This is based on some of my problems. Hate it like it. I don't give a damn cause I don't really know you people. These Pov are based on how I think about life now. So on with the story.

Kitty POV-

I hate this. I hate everything. I hate life. This experience has really changed how I feel about the world. I don't live in a Barbie world. Like there's nothing wrong with people. There is nothing going on. Everyone is smiling and happy. I don't know what to think any more. Nothing is like in a story. Like in sleeping Beauty. You don't fall asleep from a spinning needle and sleep for a hundred years. And when you wake some cute guy kisses you and you all live happily ever after. Life isn't like that. There is no such thing as a happy ending. Life aint a fairy tale. I hate happy endings.

Hiei-

They can be happy. They can laugh. They can smile. But life isn't like that. I don't live in a fantasy world. Life is dark and cold. People are just waiting for you to screw up. Life isn't all fun and games. It's not like a story. There are no happy endings in life.

Kitty-

If we were meant to be happy, then why do bad things happen? Why do people hurt themselves? Why do people kill each other? Why do some people just disappear at night? Why do people forget about those who disappear? Most of the people who died or got lost that get on the news are forgotten in a month. Do you people remember a two year old boy, dark brown hair, and dark brown eyes disappeared, around 1999 they found him and he drowned because the people that he was supposed to be with forgot about him while hiking. So he fell in a river while trying to find them. How do you feel when you picture that? What about all those girls who got kidnapped that one summer? You don't hear about them. You just can't forget those who disappeared. You might forget movie stars after they aren't famous anymore but you cant for get those who died. No matter how hard you try you cant. I know I cant. I see their faces sometimes. I don't forget.

Hiei POV-

Life is like a game. A game you can't win. A game with no point. You can try to win. You can make friends but in the end do they matter?

Life sucks. Nothing you do matters. Not much. Everything you do can change your life and the lives of everything. If you think about it you feel different. Every moment counts in this game. I don't want to win. Because there is nothing to win. It doesn't matter what social group you are in. When you are gone, what good will that do you? No one's life is flawless. Everyone will die. Everyone feels pain. Everyone gets sad. How will smiling help you. Smiling is just a disguise to hide how you feel. It doesn't help. People will notice you. So. They will notice you if you don't smile. Smiling is point less. I hate it when people smile. They can if they want. Smiling only tells you live in a fantasy world. I can't smile. I have nothing to smile about. Even if I wanted to I couldn't. I don't want to. One event in your life can change you. For me it was many depressing ones. I can't forget them. People just don't forget. They remember they just say they don't. I have no faith left. Life sucks.

That's all for now. On a lighter note, some Goth at the public school in my town (I got to a private school. I hate it though) Well some Goths from our public school started to beat up people with skateboards. Of course this was just a rumor. Nothing happens in Iowa. How I know this because my dad was there. He's a fireman. I hate him being one. Every time he leaves you never know if the next time you see him he'll be alive. I hate that. I don't want to think about it. That's all for now. Like I said I'm not that good at writing and those were just my opinions. And some advice don't say to your friends when they are acting stupid, "Can you say would you like fries with that because you will never pass eighth grade." That will make them mad. That's all for now. Hope you think about on my look of life.


	20. Why do i have to name chapters?

Did my last chapter made you think about your outlook on life and some other things? If it did good for you! Back to the story. I have to make this short though, I have to go to some gay Algona band day festival. Lucky me. I hate band and almost everyone in the band loves band. I'm surrounded by band dorks. God help me!

"God Yususke, do you have to be so negative about this?" Kayko asked him. They were arguing about what they should do to help Hiei. And to make matters worse Kitty is in a trance a deep depression. Every night she has been going out to bars and coming home drunk. She doesn't take Hiei with her anymore. She doesn't want to hurt him like last time.

"Kayko, they lost! Kitty is a drunk. And Hiei won't talk, eat, and he cuts himself," Yusuke said, "This is getting serious."

"I don't know what to think any more," Kayko said frowning.

Hiei POV-

So I got sick. I don't feel any better. I'm not going to tell them though. I don't want them to care. I still cough up blood, but I force myself to swallow it or spit it out later. My sides still hurt, but I don't say anything. I don't care if I get better. I can't trust anyone.

Kitty POV-

Yea so I became a drunk. It helps me forget about things. I want to stop, but I can't. I tried cutting myself yesterday too. It was great! I could feel my blood rushing, my world spin. And just for a moment my past didn't exist. I love that feeling. The feeling of being free. But I'm not going to try it again. I don't want my friends to worry. They have enough problems with Hiei anyways.

Yukina POV-

It's odd. None smiles anymore. At least very rarely. I feel bad about Hiei. He's like a brother to me. I wish I could help him but I can't. At least not until he wants help. But I'll try to cheer everyone up.

Hiei POV-

"Ok Hiei, time for another talk," Yusuke said.

He can try all he wants, but I won't say anything.

"What is up with all his?"

I watched the clock.

"Come on. Why don't you talk?"

It's been one minute thirty seconds. If he thinks I'm going to answer he's stupid.

"Can you remember why you are doing this?"

Two minutes. Of course I remember. I remember everything that happened. I remembered the first time I cut my self.

Flash back

I walked into Kitty's house for another pointless meeting. I went to the dining room to see if any one is there. All that was there were some ribbons and a craft knife. Then I placed the blade next to the skin on my arm. A tingle went across my scalp. The floor tipped up at me and my world spiraled away. Then I was on the ceiling looking down, waiting to see what would happen next. What happened next was that a perfect, straight line of blood bloomed from the edge of the blade. The fine grew into a crimson bubble that got bigger and bigger. I watched from above, waiting to see how big it would get before it would burst. When it did I felt satisfied. And then Exhausted. I never cut myself too deep, never enough to die. But enough too feel pain. Enough to feel the scream inside.

End flash back

I knew he was trying to get to me. I couldn't let him help. I had to keep thinking negative. Who I really am.

I hate everybody.

I'm alone

I don't need any one.

I don't want any one.

I don't care.

They don't care.

I am no one.

I have never been any one.

I'll never be any one.

I am a shadow.

Rarely seen.

I'm dark and alone.

I blend in with my surroundings.

I don't matter.

I am a shadow and nothing more.

I'm alone.

Always have been,

Always will be.

I'm like a dark room,

Lonely and empty

I'm hard to see.

I'm dark and unwelcoming.

Nobody wants me.

I don't care.

Never trust any one.

Not even your self.

You don't need friends.

Friends will only weaken you.

They will get in your way.

I'm alone and always will be.

"Hiei? Hiei? Can you hear me?" asked Yusuke.

My consitrtion came back. I won't talk. I won't talk

That's all for now. I'll update later. Got to go play my fricken clarinet. God I hate band!


	21. more of my opinions, read if you dare

I'm back from the marching band thing. We got third. 'Hoorah'! What a waste of a Saturday. Some of this stuff is what I think. Do you think it's depressing? On with the story.

Kitty POV-

The world is a cold dark place. I am now watching court TV. Hiei is asleep on the couch and the rest if the team is watching too. Not every one dies on their own. This is the story. Guy was driving and found a sleeping bag. He found inside a blood-covered pair of shoes and a purse. It had no money but there was a drivers listens. I won't tell who just in case. They found her body buried in gravel. They found paper towels with duck tape on it. They could see the mouth and nose shaped into the towels. Why do people do this? Don't they think about their family and friends? What could the person be doing if they didn't die? They could have been the next president, and something else. How can people do that to so some one? Many people disappear. Many never return. What are the killers thinking? Why do they want to kill? Especially if they don't even know who they are killing. How can parents murder their children? How can anyone murder a little kid? A week or two ago, a lady and her four-month-old baby were murdered in a park. They were stabbed to death. They KILLED a baby! How much lower can you get? When they found the baby it was still in the stroller. I don't know if they found the murder, but how can that pardon live with them self? I look at my little cousins and tears come to my eyes thinking about some one hurting them, or killing them. How can people do this? Why do people do this? I don't understand.

Kuwabara POV-

I don't know how these people can watch this. It's so sad. People disappear and are found dead. I don't want to know what happens to them. I don't know them but it gives me a weird feeling. Just thinking that some is that mad they will kill people. Some people are just weird.

Shorty has been sleeping allot lately. This is worrying everyone else. I don't know what it means, but I think it's bad.

Kitty POV-

I hate it when people are murder. Especially if they don't know who killed them. You don't know where the murder is. It could be your neighbor, your teacher, or even your family member. That's enough about people seeing. I don't want to think about it.

That's all for now. Thos case is really interesting. Just so you know I got that from the thing I'm watching now on court TV. What do you think about people dieing or disappearing without a trace? CIA for now.


	22. oops

That's enough of my opinions. Lets get back though the story and Hiei problems. After all that is the name of the story...

Secret meeting at the temple-

"Hiei's problem has gotten worse," Kurama started. Kitty just looked at the ceiling. "Kitty, we know that you keeping something from us."

She stared at the ceiling. She knew she couldn't tell. "And Hiei," Kurama said turning toward him. "Why cant you just tell us why you are doing this."

Silence "Hiei," Kurama tried again.

"Just give up Kurama!" Kuwabara said standing up, "He's hopeless! He doesn't care, I don't know why we care! No one can help him! Nothing can change his mind! He's hopeless! So he can stick with his weird problems."

They all paused. "Oh my god," Shizuru said. Hiei looked at the floor. The rest stared at Kuwabara like he was the weirdest thing they ever saw. He started to regret what he said. Kitty was shaking with anger. Since her powers depended on her emotions, this wasn't going to have a good ending.

"What the hell are you talking about!" She screamed. Her shadow grew behind her. Fire shot up from under her feet her eyes went dark. "That is not true! First of all I'm not going to give up on him! You can but I'm not! I haven't given up hope yet!" She yelled. "And second of all! His problem isn't weird! Lots of people have that problem. Even worse! So watch what you say before you shoot your fricken mouth!"

Every one was stunned. They didn't know what to think. They knew Kitty was right. Hiei still stared at the floor. "He's right," He said. They all turned to him.

"No he's not," Shizuru said.

"Yea I'm not right," Kuwabara said.

"Yes you are," Hiei said. He got up and left. More silence.

"God we are all killing him from he inside," Yusuke said.

"What?" Kuwabara asked.

"It means I think we are killing him emotionally," Yusuke said.

"Yeah, what you said Kuwabara could have scarred him for life," Kitty said.

"Oh God I probably did," Kuwabara said finally realizing what he did.

What happened to Hiei? How will everyone handle this? I don't know yet. So wait and see.


	23. hmmm i cant think of a title

Sorry for taking awhile to update. I'm failing math. And my math teacher lives across the street. And my friend asked me what's it like living in a world of stupidity to me I said "Don't know I only go there to visit you." So on with the story.

Hiei POV-

I didn't care what he said. It doesn't matter. For once he was right. But I don't care. I don't feel anything any more. Not even emotional pain. They shouldn't worry. I'm not.

Normal POV-

"God Kuwabara," Kitty said walking with Kuwabara, "why did you have to say that."

"I said I was sorry," He said.

"Yeah, but not to Hiei," Kitty said, "he's the one you should say sorry to."

"I know," He said. "But I don't know where he is."

"That's why we're looking for him."

"Yeah but do I say to him?"

"I don't know. Just what you think."

"But I already told him what I think."

Kitty stopped. "You don't really think that? Do you?"

"Well, kinda of."

"But why?"

"Hey I don't anyone who does that to them selves."

"You do now."

"Why can't he be normal?"

"There is no such thing as normal. Everything is different. Everyone and everything."

"I know."

"Normal for me is throwing rocks at squirrels."

"Ok I get it!" he said.

They paused for a while. "You do want to help don't you?" Kitty asked looking strait ahead.

"Well, yeah, he is my team mate after all."

"So you only want to help him because he's your team mate?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yes, I mean no."

"What is it then?"

"I don't know."

"So you wouldn't help him if he wasn't a team mate. You would say he could fix it himself?"

"Umm I don't know. Can we talk about something else?"

"Fine then."

"How much longer till we get there?"

"We just got here."

"Hiei!" Kitty yelled.

Hiei jumped down from a tree. "What?" he said annoyed.

"Kuwabara has something to say," she said pushing him forward.

Kuwabara hesitated. "Umm, shorty, I mean Hiei, I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it."

"I don't care if you really think that anyways," Hiei said jumping back up into the tree. "I don't care what you think. I don't care what you say."

"Didn't it hurt you?" Kuwabara asked curiously.

"No," Hiei said, "Nothing hurts anymore. I'm almost emotionless. Why?"  
"No reason just checking so I didn't scar you emotionally," Kuwabara said.

"Well it didn't," Hiei said, "I don't care what people think."

They were quiet for a while. Hiei could feel himself feeling tired again. His knees started to go out. He fell forward and landed hard on the ground.

"Hiei! Hiei!" Kitty shouted as she and Kuwabara ran over to his body.

"Come on Hiei wake up!" Kuwabara said shaking him. "Please wake up. Please wake up."

That's all for now. Will Hiei wake up? What will happen next? No one knows. I don't even though yet. I got to think of it first. CIA!!!


	24. I hate Walmart

I'm going to update more now

At Kitty's House-

"What the hell happened?" Yusuke asked sounding surprised.

"Yusuke careful watch what you say!" Kayko said.

"Kayko welcome to the twenty first century," Kitty said, "Every one swears now."

"What happened?" Yusuke asked again.

Kitty and Kuwabara looked at each other. "Well," Kitty started, "Well it all started when me and Kuwabara,"

"Kuwabara and I," Kayko interrupted.

"What ever," Kitty said rolling her eyes, "Anyway Me and Kuwabara went to look for Hiei so he could apologies."

"What did Hiei say?" Yusuke asked

"This is how it started. Kuwabara hesitated. "Umm, shorty, I mean Hiei, I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it."

"I don't care if you really think that anyways," Hiei said jumping back up into the tree. "I don't care what you think. I don't care what you say."

"Didn't it hurt you?" Kuwabara asked curiously.

"No," Hiei said, "Nothing hurts anymore. I'm almost emotionless. Why?"  
"No reason just checking so I didn't scar you emotionally," Kuwabara said.

"Well it didn't," Hiei said, "I don't care what people think."

They were quiet for a while. Hiei could feel himself feeling tired again. His knees started to go out. He fell forward and landed hard on the ground.

"Hiei! Hiei!" Kitty shouted as she and Kuwabara ran over to his body.

"Come on Hiei wake up!" Kuwabara said shaking him. "Please wake up. Please wake up," Kitty said, "And that's how we ended up here."

"Is he ok?" Yusuke asked looking at Hiei on a couch.

"Yes," Kurama said, "he should be fine. He's just unconscious."  
"But why did he fall?" asked Kuwabara.

"Hunger faint. We learned about it in school," Kitty said.

"Why can't he just eat?" Yusuke asked.

"He will give in some time," Kitty said, "He's probably to tired to cut himself so that's a plush side."

"I don't know," Kurama said, "I wouldn't under estimate Hiei. If he is tired or not, he'll find away."

"Yeah but look what I got," Kitty said waving Hiei's knife and sword in the air.

"God Kitty," Yusuke said ducking, "watch where you're swinging that thing!"

"Sorry," she said putting them down.

"We better hide them good," Yusuke said.

"I'll hide them," Kurama said. He got up and left to hide them.

The next day-

(Kitty- Red spiral pigtails on the top of her head with blue streaks in her hair. Light blue sweatpants and a light blue t-shirt that says fallen angel in dark blue writing.)

Hiei slowly got up. He rubbed his head. 'Where am I?' he thought. He faintly remembered what had happened. Last he remembered he was standing in a tree talking to Kitty and Kuwabara, when he felt sick. He looked around.

"It's about time you're up shorty," Kuwabara said smiling.

Kitty looked over from her book she was reading. She smiled and got up, and jumped onto the couch with Hiei. He moved his legs just in time. "Yeah," she said, "We were so worried."

"How are you feeling?" Kuwabara asked him.

He shrugged. "Yusuke went out with Kayko, I forgot what where Kurama went and me and Kuwabara are babysitting you so you don't hurt your self or just in case you pass out again."

"I don't need I babysitter," Hiei said flatly.

"Trust me," Kitty said, "You do." Hiei rolled his eyes.

"Maybe you should go back to sleep so you maybe you'll feel better," Kitty said.

Hiei too tired to protest fell asleep. Kitty and Kuwabara tiptoed out of the room. But they didn't know that Hiei was only fake sleeping. He opened his eyes as soon as he knew they were gone. He felt something in the couch. He reached in and pulled it out...

What did Hiei find? You'll have to wait till later. CIA!


	25. 

T   
I  
M  
E  
T  
O  
U  
P  
D  
A  
T  
E!

No people, it's a joyous occasion when people do that to them selves. They usually through a big party for the happy occasion. Duh it's suicidal! So shut up, that's the way life is, not everything is happy. People do hate themselves and try to hurt themselves, and even kill themselves. Welcome to reality!  
Just so you know what he finds does work that's what I used to use...

Hiei POV-

I reached into the couch and pulled out a tape dispenser. I was going to throw it but then I noticed the rigged ends on it. I made sure no one was watching, then I ran the rough edge against my skin. It only left a scratch mark. But I could feel my skin being ripped off. It wasn't the same, but it was all I could use for now. I wanted to bleed. I moved it rapidly across a spot on my arm. After removing all the layers of my skin on that spot, it finally began to bleed. It still wasn't the same.

Kitty POV-

When we got back, we found Hiei scratching himself with a tape thing. I was looking for that. Where did he find it? Oh well. I can't believe we left him alone. He is now sitting between us looking extremely bored and he didn't care what we were going to say.

"Why in hell's name did you pick a tape thing?" I asked.

"Because you took the things I usually cut myself with," he said looking strait ahead.

I sighed. "You should try to stop this you know."

"Why should I?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I said so!"

"But why did you say so?"

I sighed again. "Kuwabara, do you want to add anything." Me and Hiei both looked at him.

He paused. "I think we shouldn't tell the others."

"Why?" I asked surprised.

"Because," he said, "then they will think we can't handle him. Then they won't leave again."

"Oh yeah that," I said sadly.

"But you cant handle me," Hiei said staring at the wall again.

"We will just have to try harder then," I said in a singsong voice. He gave me a look.

"No one say anything," I said looking from Hiei to Kuwabara, "Do you promise?"

"Yeah," Kuwabara said.

"What ever," Hiei said rolling his eyes.

"Good," I said.

Normal POV-

"How did everything go?" Kurama asked when they got back.

"Fine," Kitty said.

"It was boring," Kuwabara said.

Kurama gave a small smile, "Did they convince you to stop Hiei?"

"Hell no," he said, "Not even close."

That's all for now. So my story isn't that good. I think it almost good though. I have schoolwork to do. And other stuff. CIA for now!


	26. this chapter is bigger than my self aste...

I hate my self I hate my self I hate myself I hate my self I hate my self I hate my self

I fail at everything I do. I hate my self I hate my self I hate myself I hate my self I hate my self I hate my self. I hate my self I hate my self I hate myself I hate my self I hate my self I hate my self. I hate my self I hate my self I hate myself I hate my self I hate my self I hate my self Just so you know that wasn't part of the story. That is what I think everyday.

Normal POV-

They were all gathered in the Kitty's living room watching T.V. Hiei was barely staying awake. Kitty eyes never left the T.V. except every once in awhile to check on Hiei. They were all listening to a case on court TV. (Possibly my favorite channel) During a commercial, they always talked. Except Hiei. He avoided talking to others. It was just a waste of time.

"Hiei"

He looked up surprised to here be name. He tried to focus.

"Hiei," Yusuke said again. Hiei raised an eyebrow partly to show he was listening. "What do you regret doing most?" he asked.

"Do I have to answer this?"

"Yes."

Hiei rolled his eyes and thought for a second. "Ever being born." He said. Everyone else just stared at him. "Can I go asleep now?" he asked irritated.

"Sure," Kurama said with a sad smile. He went to sleep almost instantly. They all looked at each other then went back to focusing on the TV. But they were hardly paying any attention. Kitty looked Hiei sleeping on the couch and she almost started to cry, but she stopped her self. She turned back to the TV.

I'm cutting it short. I haven't been feeling well all week. My head hurts. I feel like I'm going to throw up, and I'm dizzy and tired all the time. Of course only you people who are reading this knows. I haven't told any one. And I'm not going to. Has any one ever told you that they wished they weren't born? It is a weird feeling. And if you haven't then I haven't talked to you yet. All up there at the top was true about me. It's not like people help. I miss one pass in gym when we were playing football and they get mad. It wasn't even my fault. Some one backed into me and knocked me down. I think that everyday. I know its true. Every time I do something I screw it up. So you people are the only ones who know this. My family doesn't know, the people at my school don't know. Welcome to my life.


	27. a short ch

Do I feel better? Not much. But do I care. Let me think. No. But this story isn't about me. So on with the story...

Hiei POV-

They all have tried. They all have failed. They say they want to help. But do they really? Can they? No one can help me. There is nothing to help. I am nothing. Just a shadow to everything. A slave with no will. I am meant to serve and nothing more. I am powerless. I am one color. Stuck in the bottom. Feeling no pain. I'm alone. I'm cold. Just a shadow and nothing more.

Kitty POV-

How can you help some one that doesn't want to be helped? He thinks no one cares. I care though. Only if he could notice that this wouldn't be happening. I'm supposed to help him. That's what friends are for.

Normal POV at temple-

"Ok shorty you have to crack some time," Kuwabara said. Once again they were trying to help Hiei. But failing miserably. He wouldn't talk or move. He just stared at them all. And they stared back.

Hiei POV-

This is wasting their time. I wont give in. They can't help. No one can help me. This is pointless. Life is pointless. Every second they waste there lives trying to help. I wasn't meant to be helped. I'm a shadow. A dark reflection of life. I was never wanted. That's why I'm the forbidden child. I was an accident. I still am. I will remain in the shadows for the rest of my life.

Kitty POV-

(Humming jeopardy song)

This is so boring. Why isn't any one talking? Why don't they tell me anything?

"God Kitty quit humming," Yusuke said annoyed. I stopped. "Oh God I forgot my cell phone I have to call my mom." I dashed out the door and went home.

30 mins later-

I'm talking on my cell phone to my mom while running up the temple steps.

"No mom, yes mom. I wont forget. I don't care. Hello no I don't still like barney! Sorry I'll watch my langue," I said. The next thing I know I ran into the wall of the temple and fell. The rest of the team came out and shook their heads. "No mom I didn't run into another door. It was a wall." I said rolling my eyes, "Ok bye."

I hung up the phone. They were all staring at me. "What?" I said. Then Yusuke and Kuwabara started laughing. I slugged them overt heir heads. "Shut up. So I run into doors every once in awhile."

"Every once in awhile?" Kurama questioned.

"Ok so frequently," I said.

"That explains a lot," Hiei mumbled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Now we know why you are so slow," He said. Yusuke and Kuwabara were laughing hysterically. I laughed a little. I can take a joke. And Kurama smiled.

"So I'm slow but I'm dam proud of it," I said. My remark made Hiei smirk. At least I got him to smirk. He hasn't even done that in awhile. I miss the way things used to be.

That's all for now. Got things to do. I'm going to watch the exorcist. I never get scared though. I always laugh. I don't know why though. I'll be updating while watching so whatever...


	28. just something to keep me busy

I'm watching the Exorcist right now. Who ever said it was a horror movie lied. It's so dam hilarious! Well not that funny. On with the story-

Normal POV-

They are all sitting on a big couch at Kitty's house watching the Exorcist. (It will be easier to write for me, besides I couldn't think of anything)

"Look Hiei," Kitty said waving a kitkat in his face, "It's candy. Do you want it?" He stared at. By his expression you could tell he was growing angry. Yusuke noticed this so he swatted the candy out of her hand. "What was that for?" she asked frowning.

"Don't do that," Yusuke said, "You'll make him mad. And that's not such a good idea.'

"Dam these people swear a lot in this movie," Kayko said.

"You just swore," Kitty said. Kayko just shrugged.

"Sure you wont get scared shorty?" Kuwabara asked Hiei with a smile. Hiei rolled his eyes.

"As sure as you are stupid," he said. Yusuke smiled. Kuwabara thought about what Hiei just said.

"Hey wait a second," he started to say. It's kind of hard to be scared of a movie when you are trying to stay awake. He didn't care about the movie. It was just about some ningen girl being possed by the devil. Nothing to get excited about. He didn't like falling asleep early. That's what little kids do.

"What the heck happened to that Mary statue?" Kitty asked.

"Oh my god that old guy is going to kill that poor guy!" Kayko gasped. Kitty was laughing her head off.

"Kitty are you ok?" Botan asked.

"Yeah but this movie isn't scary yet. It's so dam hilarious! They are drunk and there is a crazy old guy."

Some moments of silence. "Oh my god, that girl just peed on the floor! And in front of everyone at the party!" Kitty said through gasps of breath. She was laughing so hard she had trouble sitting up.

"Kitty calm your self, that wasn't funny, it was kind of sad," Shizuru said.

"I have a sick sense of humor," was her reply.

"My God even the little girl swears," Yusuke said.

Some time later-

"Tired yet shorty," Kuwabara asked Hiei while still watching the movie. No answer. "Shorty?" he asked again. This time he looked at Hiei. He was already asleep. Kuwabara smiled and went back to watching the movie.

"My God those people are stupid," Yusuke said, "Cant they tell she's not sick?"

"That was so weird, and disturbing," Shizuru said. (The part when she is first posed, and she say f me to the doctor.)

"Hiei was lucky he was sleeping," Kitty said.

That's all for now. I'm going to watch the movie for a while. Not the best chapter but kept me busy during the boring parts.


	29. 

Did I have fun watching the movie? No. I don't have fun. What ever.

Hiei POV-

My head hurts and I feel extremely sick. I could tell. But I wont. I shouldn't bother them. Everything seems so cold.

Normal POV-

(Kitty- black hair jaw length, baggy jeans and a white tank top going up to her belly button."

"My god that movie was so boring," Kitty said pouring orange juice.

"You're the one who rented it," Yusuke said.

"I know, but still you would think it would be scary it was more disturbing," Kitty said.

"Don't forget back then they thought the King Kong movies were scary," Kurama told her.

Kitty laughed, "Yea those people were so stupid. That movie is as fake as my band teacher's nose job. But good news there is a new chucky movie."

"Do you even like chuckie movies?" Kuwabara asked her.

"No I never saw one," she said shrugging. Hiei was sitting down at the counter trying not to fall asleep.

"You ok Hiei," Yusuke asked him taking a seat next to him. He nodded.

"When I have to much orange juice my eye starts to twitch," Kitty said while drinking orange juice.

"Kitty have you ever fallen out of tree before?" Hiei asked her.

"Yea how did you know?" she said.

"Lucky guess."

Yusuke POV-

I know something is up. I just know what. Yet. Kitty falling out of tree. Should have known that. I'm going to try to talk to Hiei know. I'm looking to his eyes. I see no life in them. It's like the life had been sucked out of him. I hated seeing him this way. "Kay Hiei, I know something is up. Are you feeling ok?" He blinked.

"I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"I said I'm fine," he said scowling.

"Calm down I was just checking. You haven't been the same lately. You keep falling asleep and you don't do much," I said.

"I can't do any thing because you took my kanta," he said rolling his eyes.

I smiled. "Ok if you say so."

Hiei POV- (late at night around 2 am)

He wanted to know if something was wrong. Of course I denied it. Nothing is wrong. I might be sick but I can handle it. I can take care of myself. My head is spinning. I'm tired all the time and my world is spinning beneath me. It feels like I'm walking on air. I hear footsteps in the hall. "Hiei?" I looked over. It was the fox. What did he want? I tried to sit up.

"Don't get up," he said gently, "It will make you dizzy.' I lay back down.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"Yusuke warned me that you might not be feeling that well, so I came in to check on you," he said.

"I'll tell you what I told him fox," I said annoyed, "I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes!"

Before I could react he put his hand on my forehead then my face. "You have a very high fever."

"I am I fire demon aren't I?"

"Even too high for a fire demon." I rolled my eyes 'God know they are going to freak out about this too'

"Just go to sleep for now and I'll check on you in the morning," Kurama said with a half smile.

Kitty POV-

I like staying up late. I need to get ready for bed. She changed into her pajamas and knelt on her bedside. "Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray my lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake. I pray the lord my soul to take. And dear God, please help Hiei even though he hasn't been the best person, but he is still my friend and I don't want anything to happen to him. And please watch over the rest of my friends because they are usually in trouble. And if you can please make all peanut butter disappear, cause it's very icky. Amen"

She got into bed and went to sleep. Hoping that her friends will be all right and everything will go back to normal.

That's all for now. I should go to bed. No I don't feel better, and no, no one knows yet. I was bored so I added Kitty's POV. My cousin says that pray before going to sleep so I got that idea from her. I'll update later. Nite.


	30. Falling

I don't need your people's pity. I'll be fine by my self. I can take care of my self. I don't care what happens to me.

Hiei POV-

I'm better off alone. I don't need them to care. I'm better off alone. I can take care of myself. I don't need their lectures. I don't need their help. I want them to get off my case. I should just disappear can hate myself if I want to. Trust me there is no need to worry. They want me to be like them. To be happy. That's not going to happen. I'll tell you now I cant win. I've fallen too far. They can watch me fall. But they can't stop me. They thought they were helping me, but they were only stopping me. They only pushed me down. They haven't noticed, but they didn't help. I'm worse than I was before. Now I am more determined to do this. I don't need the, they don't need me. I could be just like them, but I cant fake how I feel. I'm not worth saving. I'm a shadow. You cant save a shadow. I was never wanted. I'm never scared. I'm never happy. I feel nothing. I feel no pain.

Short. But I have things to do. I have to go to a birthday part tomorrow. For my cousin. I'll be surrounded by little people. They like to play with me. That's when I smile. I don't mean it, but I don't want to trouble their minds.


	31. Crash and Burn

I think I'll update. Today has been a mildly interesting day. We played football in gym. Two hand touch. And when I caught a touch down pass, (I know I can believe it either) this girl in my class, Lytina, tackled me (even though it was two hand touch and knocked me over.) Causing me to land on the track, scraping my arm badly, causing it to bleed, and she was still on me. So I got mad cause only I can make me bleed and no one else. So I go up I punched her in the stomach. Did I surprise peoples? Yes. Did I get in trouble? Hell no! I can get away with almost anything. She's lucky we go to a catholic school cause I would have done much worse. I have some anger problems.... So any ways this could affect my writing...

Hiei POV-

Another lecture. Another waste of time. Just the fool and me. Let's make this interesting.

"My god wont you listen!" He said, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

I only smirked. He started to shake with anger. "God just tell me!" I rolled my eyes. "Tell me!" I smiled an evil smile. Does he really think I'll tell? If he does he's stupider than I thought. This time he got angrier. I knew I was pushing my limits. Should I stop? Hell no. "This is the final time! Tell me now!" I shook my head. This time he got madder. He through his fist at me. I knew it was coming. But I didn't move I stood there. He hit me in the eye. He punched me over and over again. It didn't hurt. Nothing hurts anymore. When he stopped he said, "Now will you tell me?" I shook my head with a smirk. He repeated it. I didn't care. Less work for me to do. He came back to his scenes. "Oh my god," he said falling to his knees. I just stared at him. "What are the others going to say?

Later that night-

"Hiei what happened to you?" Yusuke asked curiously. "Who did this?" He stared at me. My arms were bruised, I had a black eye. I knew what I had to do.

"I did," I said flatly, "Who else do you think would?"

"Kuwabara."

I smirked. "He loves cats. Do you really think he could with his honor code?"

"Well I guess not," Yusuke said scratching his head, "Then why did you do it?"

I rolled my eyes, "I can't do any thing else."

"But why?"

"To past the time."

He sighed. "Just don't do I t again," he said.

"I'll think about it," I said.

Yusuke POV-

That's was weird. I thought he only cut himself. I didn't think that would happen. Should have seen that coming. Know I have more problems I have to deal with.

"Well know that you have one more problem I have to deal with," I said.

He looked at me. His eyes weren't bright red any more. They seemed to have all the life drained form them. "You have to deal with it?" he said, "I thought it was my problem. I have to deal with it. You don't. Only I can stop it. This isn't your problem, this is my problem. If you think you have to deal with it you're wrong."

"But," I stared to say. "I have to deal with it."

"You're excuses are over rated. This problem just won't go away unless I want it to," he said. "I made this problem. I can fix it myself. If I want to. But I don't."

I just stared at him. "Come on I have some of these problems too."

"Do you?" he asked, "Can you really relate to this? Can you really say you have the same problem?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"Well know," I said.

"You said you did. I knew you didn't. You're thinking to slow. You don't have the problem. I do. You can't give me answers to problems you don't even know. You just can't create answers. I created this problem. And it will never go away," he said. He walked away and left.

I just stood there confused. Staring at nothing.

Hiei POV-

I knew he couldn't understand. He had no answers. I made this problem. I played it. I can't stop it. I can find the answer my self. I'm washed up and hated. I don't know the meaning of happiness. There is a reason I'm called the forbidden child. No matter how hard I try I fail. They thought I was happy. I never was. They saw me before and thought everything was all right. I'm tired of pretending. They can watch me burn. Crash and burn. I'll tell them I can't win this game. I'm not always flying so on the way down they can watch me burn. They can't tell me how to take this. I'm way to cold. I'm already broken. I have no home. I have no family. I'm better off alone. I've made so many mistakes in my life. The main one was ever being born. I hate my self. I was an accident. Nothing can change that. I wasn't meant to live. That's why they got rid of me. Every one I have known will eventually leave me. I can't trust any one. I hate everything about me. Why do I still let me live? I could kill myself in a matter of seconds. Why dint I? There's something holding me back but I don't know what.

Kuwabara POV-

I can't believe what I did. I could beet myself up for this. I also cant believe he didn't tell them the truth. Maybe he is different from what I thought. I still don't know why I did it. I just got really mad. I think he knew I was going to do it. Why didn't he stop me? Oh, I forgot he didn't care. Why couldn't I stop my self? I mean we're friends, I think. It's not like he's some enemy. He's my teammate I should have stopped myself.

That's all for now. I forgot I have math homework. Also today, this boy Tanner in my grade kept putting his arm around me. I hate it when people touch me so I stabbed me with a pencil. He avoided me for the rest of the day then. Am I different from what you people thought? I have lots of surprises. It was his fault. He should have seen it coming. Besides I hate him. That's all for now. Oh yea and one more thing. If you people send flames or anything close to it, I will fire them back at you. They don't bug me. Just so you know. CIA

From Caitlin (moving Shadow)


	32. You people make me smile

Do you people think I was looking for pity? I wasn't. I can only tell you people this stuff causes you don't know my family so you can't tell them. I don't want pity. I don't need pity. I'm not a little kid. I don't look for pity I avoid it. I have perked up though. I have to end the story soon. Like some people say I am repeating it over and over. So I'll end it in around three chapters. Happy now? And when I said he had no family. I know Yukina is his sister. But she doesn't know that. So to him it seems like he has no family. Besides hasn't he been alone for most of his life? When you're alone it feels like you have no family. Why do I repeat? That's all I think pretty much. Must of this stuff is my POV. Just so you people know. You're reviews make me smile. Why did I sign up for this? To help my self-esteem. Did it work? YES! Surprisingly. Everyday I'm gradually getting back to normal. So thanks peoples. Cause lets just say my friends and family only make it worse. At least you peoples are nice. So sorry for the repeating. Just trying to get my view of life out. Writing it is easier for me, then telling people. Is that all? Now I'll shut up!

Hiei POV

I can't take it any more! I'm stopping this. They wont leave me alone. I can't be alone. I have to stop this. But I'll let them think they stopped it. So they can their little glory. I hate pity.

(Hiei and others in meeting in living room)

Still Hiei POV-

I just want to get this over with. So lets finish this.

"Will you please stop?" Yusuke said with begging eyes

"Sure I will," I said shrugging.

"You aren't kidding are you?" Shizuru asked.

I rolled my eyes, "I'm getting tired of not being able to left alone. So I'm giving it up."

Kitty jumped up and hugged me. I try to get away but the rest joined. The I got mad. "I'll go back t the problem if you don't stop hugging me!" I threatingly. They let go instantly. Kitty started laughing hysterically. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"I'm just so happy!" She said through laughs. Then the rest were smiling and laughing. I rolled my eyes. Did I smile? Hell no! I'm not that happy! I said I would stop, but did I really? Did I just pretend to?

The end! Don't know if I'll make a sequel. I'll think about it. This story was kind of depressing me so it was harder to write the happier I got. I would like to thank the fallowing peoples for their reviews, even if they are sometimes negative,

Animefreak54

Hiei-lonewolf

Animeforyou

Jessica aka Jesse

ShadowLinger

Yea thanks! Maybe write a sequel Saturday. Don't know I might. If I can get that depressed again. Most likely I stay this way only for a short while. But it is better than none. So we'll see. CIA!


	33. Part 2 Red Snow

What I said last chapter. About this being over and being a sequel. I changed my mind. Instead I'm adding a part two cause it will be easier for me. I reread my story. I did repeat a lot, so I'll watch that this time. I got homework to do so I'll update when I'm done. Same basic story line, but a little different. Also less depressing. Thanks for reading, if you did. Don't review this chapter it doesn't need to be reviewed cause it's only a notice to explain things. That's all.

Also I'm extremely bored because noone is on msn any more. I want some one to talk to!! I don't really care who, but I'm bored, and it's no use talking to my friends because they like to talk about school, not things that happened. Homework and stuff. Nothing fun. That's all. So on with the story.

From Caitlin (moving shadow)

----------------------------------------------------------------------Part two-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------------------------Red Snow------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some time in the winter Hiei POV-

Spring and summer has gone by. I haven't done anything to myself. Yet. I know I said I would stop. But what if didn't do it? What if there was some other way. Yes I have snapped out of it. I don't think that as much. I go on with life, like there is nothing wrong. I still feel no pain. But I don't want to go through that again. I'm walking through the forest where it all started. I remember that day when everything went wrong. Hiei's POV

I put the blade up to the skin of my right arm. It lightly laid my knife on top of it. I watched the skin peal back from my arm as a thin line of blood appeared. (I got that from a book I read called Cut, well parts of it so I don't own that too) I moved the blade and did it again. This time deeper and longer. I didn't mind the pain. I got used to it. The blood no longer made me sick. I like to see blood. Especially if it's mine. I felt someone coming, so I stuffed away the blade in to the hole I made in the ground, wrapped up my cuts, and pretended nothing was going on.

"Hiei! What were you doing?" said the person.

I looked up. It was that fool again. He didn't need to know, none of them needed to know. I just looked up at him and stared at him till he backed away. He wouldn't care if I was hurting myself. No one cares. I don't care.

That seems so long ago. Not much has happened since then. Kitty still runs into doors. Kuwabara is still the same idiot. Nothing has changed. I walked through the snow. I came back to my old spot. I dug through the snow and found my old knife. I tried it again. I watched my blood fall on to the snow. The red slowly seeped into the whit snow. Leaving little patches of red. I didn't get the same feeling. Close but it was still missing some thing. Some ting I couldn't think of. It started to blow harder. I closed my eyes for a second to shield them from the snow. The wind stopped. I took one last look at the red snow and headed back to Kitty's house. We have been spending most of our time there because her mom is never there. Kitty says she's a slut and is always at some guys house that she forget a few days ;later.

That's all for now. I'll write later. Yes the same basic thing. But I don't want to write another story so I added on. Like it hate it. Oh well. I got over that depression thing for now...


	34. Lieing?

It's the weekend. This is usually when I will be updating now. But not that much these two weeks. I have three parties to go to. I can only go to one party though, but I can sneak out around ten. Nothing really happens except dancing, food, and me wearing tight shirts. Still, it's something to do. I'm stuck babysitting now till around eleven. So I'll update while they watch a movie.

(Kitty- wavy blonde hair midnight blue streaks, jeans, a black tank top that said _I Love It When I'm Right _written in pink with fishnet sleeves. And a black newsboy cap. Black and Blue K-Swiss shoes.)

Kitty POV-

It's been awhile since that all started. Nothing has happened. Much. I still feel like there is something wrong. I feel it around Hiei. Like there's something there. Like this isn't over. The feeling like you are being fallowed. I hate looking over my shoulder. It's an eerie feeling. I know something is up.

Hiei POV-

I was just sitting in a tree near the temple. Then suddenly Kitty comes.

"We need to talk," she said. I rolled my eyes. I thought this was over. They don't need to fallow me any more. I don't need a babysitter.

"Depends," I said coldly, "What do you need to talk about?"

"Um," she said looking nervous, "Well it's about your old problems. Are you sure you stopped?"

"Yes I'm sure," I said.

"You positive?" She said raising an eyebrow.

"I said I was sure. What part about that don't you understand? Or do I need to say it more slowly with little words?" I said. She looked a little offended.

"Just because I'm not as smart as most of you doesn't mean I font understand," She said narrowing her eyes, "I can be smart when I want to! Stop treating me like a little kid!" The she stormed off. I watched her leave. She doesn't know how right she was. It was as serous this time, but I don't want to risk her knowing.

Kitty POV-

God I hate it when they do that to me! I only pretend to be stupid some times. I use to pretend it didn't hurt. But it does. I don't wan them to think I'm stupid. And I hate it more when they think I am. Sometimes I even think that. Somehow it slowly sinks into your brain.

I think he was lieing. I know something is up. I will find out. Something just doesn't feel right.

Sorry have to cut short. I have to put some of them to bed. I'll update later. Besides I got stuff to do. Mostly homework. I'm failing math. And when my parents talk about it, I laugh. I can't think of anything else to do except to get mad. They think I have to live up to my older brother, who is smart, and athletic. My little sister and brother are also smart and athletic. And my youngest sister is outgoing and practically everyone loves her. They think Nathan is a gifted child. Amanda is the good daughter since I haven't been the same any more. So I have to live up to my brother. I used to try to but I stopped. I got tired of living in his shadow. So I'm the black sheep of the family. No talent. I'm stuck in band. At least I got some writing talents. And a newfound talent of a burglar so far I found out all of my birthday presents some Christmas presents, and stole thirty dollar from various family member, which I gave to charity. They haven't noticed because I have a great memory and I can put things back to look like they did before. That's all till next time, and sorry this one isn't that good, but it's kind of hard to write while trying to make four frozen pizzas, and fulfilling their every orders.

From Caitlin (Moving Shadow)


	35. Wow ch35 Thats odd i thought i only had ...

Kitty POV-

"What's wrong?" Yusuke asked as I came storming into the temple. I sat down angrily and watched as a dark lavender haze come my fingers. With little interest I made them shrink and grow with my anger. "Did you hear me?" he asked.

I sighed. "I'm just sick of people treating me like I'm a little kid. Like I'm stupid and I don't know what I'm doing. Like I have no brain."

He smiled. "Is that all?" I shot him an angry look. "Then don't act like that sometimes. I mean, sometimes you do act pretty stupid. All those time you ran into doors." I stopped to think about this remark.

"I only did that stuff on purpose," I said.

"Well it looks like you didn't try to," he said.

The purple mist shot up as my eyes narrowed. "What ever. I guess I wont act the way I used to though." The mist went back into my fingers. I got up and started to walk away. "Oh yeah by the way," I said with out looking back, "I don't think Hiei's problems are over. I think something is up." Then I left. It took him awhile to remember what had previously happened. Then he shot up and ran to catch up with me.

"What do you mean by that?" He asked panting. I slowed down into a stead walk.

"It means I think there's something is going on. That something is going to happen."

He raised an eyebrow, "How do you know?"

I rolled my eyes, "Well did you forget I can tell peoples feelings. That's my power. Remember?"

He thought, "Oh yeah I forgot."

"And you said I was the stupid one," I muttered.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Nothing," I said hiding my smirk, "Nothing at all."

Hiei POV-

I was just sitting in the tree minding my own business staring at the clouds. When I felt someone coming. I looked to my right. I saw Kitty and Yusuke coming. I sighed. What do they want? Why can't they just leave me alone? I stopped. Isn't that enough for them? They were now right under the tree. I looked down acknowledging their presence. "Ok Hiei," Yusuke said with a sigh, "We need to talk."

I rolled my eyes. "So soon?" I asked.

He turned a little red with anger and frustration. Kitty smirked. "Kitty says something is up. She says she can feel it," He said. "Is there any thing going on that we need to know?"

"No theirs is nothing going on," I said flatly. If they started this again I will kill them.

"Yes there is," Kitty said, "I can feel it. So what's up?"

"I said nothing. Don't you humans listen," I said.

"Whatever I know something is going on," she said, "If you don't want to tell me fine." She walked away. Yusuke looked from me to Kitty. "Just remember if there is something bugging you, you can tell us," he said. I rolled my eyes. Then he ran off to catch up with Kitty. When he was gone I smirked to myself. Kitty doesn't know how right she is. There is something going on. But I can't let them know this time.

That's all for now. I can to any parties anymore for a while, so I'll have more time to update. I'll probably tell what his problem is next chapter. I think of how to right it down good. Besides this Thursday the 28th is my birthday (14th) and on Friday I'm having a couple of friends spend the night, so I will most likely update Saturday. That's all for now. I think I wont go to any more parties. They are so boring, besides I can't dance. Well CIA!

Caitlin (Moving Shadow)


	36. Yeahit's ch 36

Yea I think I'll update. I'm bored so I will update....

Hiei POV-

I felt his fist pound into the side of my skull. I didn't fall. I still stood. My vision blackened for a while. My eyes focused again. I felt a knife stab into my arm and slowly he drug it down. I watched as my blood bubbled up. After that he was finally done. I took two hours of torture. "So," the he asked, "How much do I owe you?"

"Five bucks," I said. He handed me the five dollars and left. I sat down for a while to recover from the beating. Then I saw Kitty coming out of the bush.

Kitty POV-

I saw the red and green demon leave. He had long black hair, almost like a horses mane. He had amber eyes, and a yellow horn on the top of his head. Ours eyes met as he walked by. He whispered something to me about Hiei but it was kind of hard to understand him. Then he walked out of the forest, and disappeared into thin air.

"What in the Hell was that!" she asked astonished. I looked at her.

I sighed. "Nothing," I said plainly.

"I know what happened," I said, "I just wanted to know what you would say. I knew you would lie."

"Are you going to tell?" he questioned. I think he knew the answer.

"Of course I will tell! Do think I'm crazy?" I said, "You are paying people to beat you up! God you better not be doing anything worse than that."

He raised an eyebrow, "I'm not that stupid. Who do you think I am? Kuwabara?"

"Kuwabara isn't that stupid to do that," I said with a smirk. Then I sighed, "Let's go back to the temple." The we walked back. The walk seemed to last forever but we finally got there. Then I explained everything to everybody else. They were just as surprised as when they found out about his first problems. But I think this is worse.

"Ok," Kuwabara said trying to understand this, "So basically you are selling yourself to people to hurt you?"

Hiei rolled his eye, "You wouldn't let me do, so I got other people to do it. First I did it for free then I started to charge people."

"Hey how much did you make?" Yusuke asked. Kayko punched him in the arm "Yusuke!" she warned.

"Just wondering," He said. Hiei pulled out around fifty dollars from his pocket. I was amazed.

"Wow, you must get lots if customers," I said. I didn't know what to think. At least we had more control over his problem last time. But this time it would be harder.

That's all for now. Sorry if it's not what you would think it would be. But people do pay people to hurt them. I know they do, it was on opera and some other people do that. Mostly people around 15. I never thought about doing it though. I won't start. So sorry if you don't like it but this can be a serous problem for some peoples. So bye for now....

Caitlin (Moving Shadow)


	37. 

We got out of school early today. So I have time to update. But today was weird. If you people couldn't tell, I was lost in a dark cloud of depression. I thought nobody cared about me and they forgot about me. At least that's what I thought. Some how people found out it was my birthday Thursday, and I brought candy for my computer class because we don't get food on early out days, and then they sang happy birthday. They said I looked like I just got shot because I looked surprised and my cheeks where slightly pink. Later they made two birthday cards and had all of my computer class, and math class sign it. I usually don't get birthday cards except from my family. They also wrote funny little messages on it. Becca said my eyes were al shinny. My birthday isn't till Thursday the 29th. They know that thought, but o well. Which was odd for me cause my eyes usually don't light up. That's enough of that though. On with the story...

Kitty POV-

"Holy shit that has to be around sixty dollars!" Yusuke said.

"Fifty," Hiei said.

"Wow!" Kuwabara said, "that's almost half of a hundred!" Hiei rolled his eyes, and I smacked myself on my head.

"Fifty is half of a hundred," I said. "Oh," he said.

"Kuwabara were you ever hit by a car before?" I asked him

"Yea! It was a parked car though. How did you know?" he said.

"A parked car? Yusuke questioned, "Is that even possible? You must be a baka!"

"Shut up," Kuwabara demanded.

"So," Kurama started to say. "What should we do about this?"

"Wait," I interrupted, "What are you going to do with that money?"

Hiei shrugged, "You guts can have it," he said.

Yusuke and Kuwabara split it up. "Don't you want any money Kitty?" Yusuke asked.

"No, because I don't want to think about how Hiei got it," I said. Kuwabara and Yusuke shrugged.

"More money for us," Yusuke said. I sighed those two idiots don't get it.

"So what should we do about this?" I asked the rest of them. Hiei waited to see what they would say. I don't think he would care about what we would do.

"I say we lock him up!" kuwabara said. I rolled my eyes.

"Don't you think he could get out?" I asked.

"Not if I made the lock myself," he said.

"He would have more trouble blinking than getting out of a lock you made," I said.

"God Kitty," Yusuke said, "What's gotten into you? Why are you acting.."

I cut him, "Different. Maybe cause I'm not acting stupid any more. So get used to it."

"God call down I was just wondering," Yusuke said. I rolled my eyes.

"I think he should always have someone with him," I suggested, "Kind of like a body guard."

"Do we all agree?" Kurama asked.

"No," Hiei said. I smiled.

"You don't get a say in this Hiei," Kurama said.

"Dam," I heard him say. But everyone else agreed.

"I hate you all," Hiei said.

"But I love you!" I said giving him a hug. His eye started to twitch.

"Get off me or suffer the consequences," He threatened. I got quickly.

That's all for now. I have to babysit while my mom takes my sister to the mall to buy me a birthday present. So until then bye. Oh yea review. If you flame I will shoot them back to you in the next chapters. So beware. Besides flames make me laugh. So bye. Wish me luck with the babysitting!

Caitlin (Moving Shadow)


	38. cats dont dance but my cats do'

Sorry it awhile to update. I was thinking of a way to annoy or scare my mom. I thought of a plan and I did it yesterday. This is what I did. First I got a small hand held mirror, and my American girl doll. I watched my mom's reactions with the mirror. I sat on a couch in my living room braiding my dolls hair. First I had a conversation about stuff with the doll. Then I changed the subject. Here's what I said. "What did you say dolly?" then I put it to my ear. "No I don't cut myself anymore." Then I pretend it said something again. "Why did I do it? I like the color of blood. No dolly mommy doesn't know. What should I do if mommy finds out?" I asked it, I put it up to my ear again. "Dolly I cant so that. Mommy loves us. (Then I paused) only if she finds out? Ok if you say so dolly." Then I went back to braiding her hair. I rigged its head so I could turn it using my toes. My mom thought it moved its self and then I watched her back away through the mirror. It was great. I should start the story now.......................

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

----Kurama POV----

Today was turn to fallow him around. First all we did was wonder around the woods. Then a red and green demon came up to us. "You ready?" he asked looking at Hiei. Hiei glanced from me to the demon. The demon looked at me. "Oh, so you brought an audience this time?" he asked. Then he started laughing. Then without any warning, it slugged Hiei in the eye. I took out my rose whip and was ready to kill it. It backed away, "dude, I'm sorry. I'll be leaving now," it said. I started to dart away, then disappeared into thin air. I stared blankly. "One of your customers?" I asked turning to him. He nodded. I looked at his eye. It looked like it would be all right. We went back walking again. "So is he one of your frequent customers?" I asked him. He shrugged. "Do you know anything about him?" I asked hoping to get some information.

"He doesn't tip," Hiei said dully. I smiled at his remark. He didn't say anything else.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry have to cut it short. Extremely short. I have to buy candy for the bloody trick or treating kids. Since I am handing out candy, I have to do that fake happiness thing. I was going to hide behind a tree with a butchers knife cover in red marker on the blade and jump out and scare the little peoples. But I cant now. So sad.... Sorry for cutting it short but I got stuff to. By the way Happy Halloween.


	39. ch 39 one less than 40 one more than 38

* * *

I had a great time passing out candy. Really I did! Those little people are so cute. One kid was dressed up as spider man and instead of saying thank you, he said your welcome. He was also picking a weggie. It was so funny! Any ways now I don't have anything else to do right now I will write some more...................

* * *

(Kitty- hot pink long sleeved shirt that shows bra straps and that had an English looking loin on it and had hole in the shirt. extreamly dark blue jeans with black leather boots. Her hair is short wavy blonde and hot pink streaks.)

* * *

---Kurama POV---

Today was semi interesting. I was going back to the temple with Hiei to report what has happened today. "Nothing really happened," Kurama stated. They looked a little interested. But not Kitty. She sat there looking at her fingernails, studying them in interest.

"So what did you see?" Yukina asked.

"Well," I went on, "we met up with a demon, who attacked Hiei." AT this Kitty looked up.

"Was it red and green? And did it have black hair?" she asked with questioning eyes.

"Yes," I said sounding surprised. "How did you know?"

She shrugged. "I saw it in the woods when it was paying Hiei," she said.

"So what do you know about it?" Yusuke asked.

"Well, not much," I said, "But by what he said it sounds like he has done _business _with Hiei before."

"Is that all?" Yusuke asked.

"Also he doesn't tip from what Hiei says." Yusuke, Kuwabara and Kitty laughed a little. I gave a small smile. Hiei rolled his eyes.

"So is that all?" Botan asked.

"Yes that's all," I said.

"Well, I'll look up about this demon then," Botan said. And with that she took out her oar and went to spirit world. I sat there quietly watching Kuwabara and Kitty fighting. Yusuke and I exchanged glances. He smiled a half smile and went back to watching their little argument.

"If you are as smart as you say you are then answer this riddle," Kitty said.

"Bring it on!" Kuwabara said standing up.

"What can you see at a movie theater that started with a P and ends with an ORN?" Kitty asked him.

He looked up at the ceiling for a while and thought about it. He started laughing. "Porn," he said.

"No you sick minded pervert!" Kitty said, "It popcorn!"

"What I'm not a pervert!" Kuwabara shouted.

"Yes you are!" Kitty shouted back.

"No I'm not!" He said again. And their argument went on like that for a few minutes. Then I couldn't take it any more. "Would you two please stop that," I said sternly. They both stopped and looked at me. "Thank you."

"Pervert," Kitty whispered. Kuwabara growled.

"Both of you calm down," Yusuke said, "How did this fight start anyways?"

Kitty and Kuwabara shrugged. "I forgot," Kitty said.

"What about you Kuwabara?" Yusuke asked.

"I don't know but all I know is that she said I was stupid!" Kuwabara.

"That's for sure," Hiei muttered.

"What was that shorty?" Kuwabara asked angrily. He moved to attack, but Hiei was too fast for him.

"Damn," Kuwabara whispered. "Why is he so fast?" Then he went back to where he was and glared at Hiei. Hiei stared blankly back.

"God where's Botan?" Yusuke asked throwing his arms in the air.

"Yeah what takes so long to look up a someone?" Kitty asked.

"Well Kitty," I said, "It could take several hours or several days."

She folded her arms. "And we are stuck here without a T.V."

* * *

---Kitty POV---

God what is taking so long? I got up. "I'm going for a walk," I said. "Hiei come with me," I ordered. He came almost instantly. Like he was slave. I only thought about this for a second.

"Wait," I heard Yusuke say. I turned around. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"Just for a walk," I said. This was starting to annoy me. "Why," I asked raising and eyebrow.

He shrugged, "Just wanted to know. Remember last time the whole blender thing?" he asked.

I shrugged. "That's just one thing," I said.

"But what about that one time you got drunk?" He asked me.

I smiled, "That was one killer weekend," I said. Kurama and Yusuke frowned. "I was just kidding. Sheesh you people cant take a joke cant you?" I said turning away. Hiei fallowed a few steps behind.

* * *

* * *

That's all I can think of for now. Who is this demon stalking Hiei? Why doesn't he leave a tip? Why am I asking questions I only know the answers to once I think of them? I have no idea. I will most likely not be able to update on the weekdays. I have work to do. Sad isn't it? People having us do work when we are most likely not going to be using it later on in out lives. Until next time, CIA. (I sounded like a T.V. announcer. ') Bye.

* * *

* * *

* * *


	40. My thoughts, My misery, Your Enjoyment

I couldn't really think of anything so here is a Hiei POV poem for this chapter. Wrote it during school.....

Hiei POV-

My life is a mystery

I don't know why

Maybe people will understand me when I am dead

They don't really care

They just pretend

Have you ever seen a ghost?

Cause that's what I am

I'm not alone though

Cause I have a spirit and a heart

And that's all I need

So beat me up if you want

I don't care

I just want you to know

I'm really not there

So you can cry all you want

And I'll never hear

Because as I said before, I'm not really here.

I couldn't think of anything else and I was thinking about this when I was thinking of ideas for my story. I was thinking about Hiei so I would know what to write. But instead this came into my mind. So I thought for my 40th chapter I should write it down till I think of something. It's about me too. Cause people have always taken adavtage of me, and when I stand up for my self they aren't my friends anymore. Just so you know, I am used to being pushed around and being treated like I am a shadow. Maybe that's where I came up with my name. Did you like it....................


	41. Puppet

Some people think my ideas and out look on life is interesting. To you it is, but to me it's a whole nother story. My teachers comment on my writings. It worries them. Last year for a poetry thing we had to write a poem. I used my moving shadow one. It surprised them. I don't know why. I have many other talents I never use. I am athletic but I am never out for any sports. I can do ballet but I never have taken a single class. That all came naturally. I can write poetry. They are ok. I might use them in this chapter though. My other talents don't matter to me. Just writing and my new talent in burglary. I have stolen over fifty dollars this month from various family members. They done think it's me because they think I'm still the same sweet person I used to be. They haven't woke up yet. Times have changed, and now I am the complete opposite. They haven't noticed. They are too busy in their happy world filled with joy, while I am in reality..............

Kitty POV-

"Our walk didn't last long so I wont go into details," I said to the others. We were all extremely bored. I hate just sitting around. Hiei was just glaring out the window. It looked like he was thinking about something. He never took his gaze from the window. His eyes fixed in the outside world. I started to adventure around in my own little mind, thinking about stuff.

"Hey shorty," I heard Kuwabara say. Hiei looked over at him. "Are you thinking about something?"

"Unlike you yes I am," He said. Kuwabara muttered something.

"Hey Hiei how come you never tell us what you are thinking?" Kuwabara asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Hn."

"Can you tell us?"

"No."

"It would be easier to now how you feel about things if you told us, "Kurama broke into their conversation. Hiei just shrugged.

"Yeah what do you think about your self?" yusuke said joining in. Hiei rolled his eyes.

"I don't want to say anything," He said.

"Please?" Kayko and Yukina begged.

"You can write it down," I said quietly, "it's easier than saying to people."

"Will you stop bugging me if I do?" Hiei asked.

"Yes!" we all said in unison.

"Fine," he said. I went up and got a black notebook and a pen.

"You can write in this whenever you want to say something but you cant or just write down however you feel," I told him. We all watched as he wrote something down. He handed it to Kurama and then joined the rest of us staring at his feet. Kurama read it and frowned slightly. Then he passed it to Yusuke who passed it to Kuwabara who passed it to Yukina and so one and so forth. All changing their expression as they read it. Then it finally got to me. It said:

I am a puppet. I have no will I am at the mercy of my master's hands. My strings hold me down. They are my enemy. I am a toy to everyone. My only use is for enjoyment. People hurt me. But I don't care. My pain is as really as the smile painted on my face. Like I said before, I'm a puppet and nothing more.

I looked up. I didn't know what to think. But I had a pretty good idea what the rest of them were thinking. Then I saw something red and green out of the corner of the window. I looked more closely but then it ran off.

That's the end of this chapter. That segment Hiei wrote was my poem called "Puppet" I know Hiei doesn't smile, but that's how I wrote it. So either you liked puppet or not tell me. I just want opinions that's all...........


	42. My tears, your joy

I was bored. I am babysitting. My little sister wont go to bed till my parents come home. I'll write while she draws. I will use another poem in this chapter. It might make you sad or not. Like it or hate it. It's my writings...

Yusuke POV-

Every time Hiei writes something in that notebook, I make him let me read it. I was prepared for anything. This was his second entry. I waited for him to finish. He handed the notebook to me. This is what I read:

I have frozen sorrow My tears turn to ice 

_My fingers al always cold_

_I feel as if I'm falling_

_Maybe it's just a dream_

_But I have frozen tears_

_Than it can't be a dream_

_Because in my dreams I can't cry_

_So really I have frozen sorrow_

_I wish I could reverse time_

_And if they want me to die_

_Then let me fall into my grave_

_I will not make a single sound_

_Until the dirt covered me whole_

_My tears will never shed like rain_

_Until the ground is above me_

_To my God I said some prayers_

_I called out to someone near_

_But no one could hear_

_I have frozen sorrow_

_And I took it to the grave with me_

_I never will say a word again_

_But my mind will keep thinking_

_And the journal I keep_

_Is filled with frozen sorrow_

_The people who find it I pity_

_Because they fill feel my pain_

My frozen sorrow 

It was sad. I didn't know what to say. He stared at me. Waiting for an answer. I couldn't think of one. He waited never changing his expression. I wondered what thought flew by in his mind. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. So I passed it down to Kuwabara. He read it and had the same reaction. Then he passed it down to Kurama, who did the same. When kitty got it she read it thoughtfully. "Wow Hiei," she said, "You should be a poet." He stared at he as if he didn't know the meaning of poet.

"Yeah really shorty you should," Kuwabara said. "They are kinda fun to read."

Hiei shrugged. "My thoughts, my misery, your enjoyment," he said.

That's all for now. That poem was called Frozen Sorrow. Did you like it? I wrote it a while ago. Not my best or favorite, but it's ok. Bye.........


	43. Fade Away

So people like my poetry. Well I have a lot written and I don't know what to do with them so they might appear in this story a few times. They tie in with my story. I have a black notebook. That's how I thought of it. I write things and draw things in there. I got it a few years ago when we went shopping and all my brothers and sisters wanted stupid toys or video games. But I just got a notebook. My parents tried to convince me to get something else but I got it. Their gifts costing up to fifty dollars and mine one dollar. I didn't regret it. I can still use mine. The toys are broken. But on with the story. Oh yeah I found another one of my poems. Not that it matters but it sort of ties in.....

* * *

Hiei POV-

I sat by the window with the notebook. Scribbling furiously on the paper. I don't know why I do this, but I still do it. It doesn't really help but I like seeing the expression on their faces when they read it. Now they know how I really feel. How I rally think. I read over my writing.

You all watch me as I fade 

_I'm disappearing_

_I'm disappearing with all my hopes_

_And with all my fears_

_I am almost no longer here_

_You watch me_

_You don't know what to do_

_So you let me fade_

_I do not exist_

_You watch in fear as I disappear_

_Till I fade away_

_Another day you will wake_

_You will wonder where I am_

_Then you remember I am no longer here_

_I fade from your thoughts_

_And all I know is that I was never here_

It was good enough I guess. I walked past them and dropped on Kuwabara's head. He was going to say something but I was already backing at the window. I watched theirs expressions change when they read it. I smirked. I knew what they were thinking. If they didn't want to hear it they didn't have to read it. The decided to feel my pain, my misery. I watch all their smiles fade.

Yukina POV-

Personally I liked reading what Hiei wrote down. It could be depressing and a little sad, but I still thought it was good. I wasn't worried till I found it lying around one day. I flipped to a new page and started reading.

_I want to die. I want to die. I want to die I want to die. I want to die. I want to die._

_I want to die. I want to die. I want to die I want to die. I want to die. I want to die._

_I want to die. I want to die. I want to die I want to die. I want to die. I want to die._

_I want to die. I want to die. I want to die I want to die. I want to die. I want to die._

_I want to die. I want to die. I want to die I want to die. I want to die. I want to die._

_I want to die. I want to die. I want to die I want to die. I want to die. I want to die._

_I want to die. I want to die. I want to die I want to die. I want to die. I want to die._

And it went on like that for five pages. Front and back. I wondered if he really meant that or he was just writing. Considered I went to Kurama and asked him about this. He read it. His eyes widening as he red thought the pages. He flipped thought them all. Nothing else was written after the last of the five pages.

* * *

That's all I'm writing for now. I am tired from our week of testing and I might update tomorrow because we don't have school. That poem up there was called Fade. Did you like it? Did you hate it? Should I keep writing my poems in the story? I don't know. You peoples can decide. My poems might start to bore you people. Oh and that I want to die thing, was also part of another one of my notebooks but it was I hate myself instead. No one in my family ever found out though. So that's all, I'm too tired to write more. So bye.


	44. Broken

I had no school today so I had time to write more. I have worked on two new poems. So I think I'll add them in.....

Kuwabara POV-

I have been reading through Hiei's writings. He has a few new ones. So I read them.

I'm broken 

_Left in tiny pieces_

_Nothing can fix me_

_I have a broken smile_

_And a broken soul_

_You shattered me_

_Just like I was glass_

_The feeling is gone_

_I am six feet under_

_My appearance is shattered_

_All I am is a broken soul_

I turned the page and read another one.

I don't belong 

_I am an exile_

_Meant to live alone_

_Washed up and hated_

They all take time to criticize me 

_I am a loner_

_An exile_

_Nothing but a shadow to all_

_I'm the one they love to hate_

_They bring me down_

_But I don't fight back_

_I am lost_

_And alone_

_I have always been an exile _

_And I will always remain one_

I turned around and jumped a little. "Sorry Hiei I didn't see you there," I said. He just stared at me with his cold eyes. I looked away. I couldn't look into his eyes. It was just weird. Now that I know what he is thinking. I hate that notebook, but I can't stop reading it. It's like there is something pulling me to it.

Hiei POV-

I don't even know why I am writing my thoughts down. I just can't stop. I started scribbling words down.

I cant see anything from where I am 

_Everything is all the same_

_Black and white are the only colors I see_

_Darkness surrounds me_

_In my soul_

_And in my heart_

_As time goes by I wait for it to lighten up_

_But it will never happen_

_There is no light inside me_

_They all left me here in my darkness_

_I have no place to go_

_My life is a nightmare_

_I am a nightmare_

_I can't see anyone_

_The darkness surrounds me_

_My life is a dark cloud_

That's all I can write for now. Those poems were just newly written. The first one is called broken, the second one is called exile, and the last one is called dark. That's all I'm writing for today and maybe for the weekend. I'm so frustrated with my family. I don't want to think about my life or family. We had to do family bonding but it never works out for me. While they are all their happy go lucky people in the car, I sit as far as way from them staring out the window staying completely silent while writing. I might have time Saturday to write but that's if I want to. I was thinking about suicide, but I don't know what to think. I think about it every time I look at a kitchen knife. This morning I was looking at my reflection in the knife. I hate my reflection. I hate everything about me. Except my eyes. No one else that I have met has had the same eye color as me. I hate looking like everything else. My mom always buys me and my sister the same clothes but in different color. Well she used to. We used to have to share presents. We are considered one person in this family. Until I changed. Now nothing is the same. But if you peoples want I'll keep writing my poems in here. You decide. I'm not used to deciding what I want to do so you can.......


	45. Under Everyone

Yes I do have some family problems. Nothing to worry about though. I spend most of my time in my mind. Especially during school. There isn't really much to say so I'll keep writing...

Kurama POV-

After finding Hiei's unique and depressing writings. Five whole pages, everything identical. I looked through his notebook for more messages he had written down. I found a new one.

_Do you know what it is like to be under six feet?_

_It's cold and alone_

_I can't get back to the other side_

_I'm underneath everyone_

_And everything_

_They brought me down_

_And left me here_

_They left me o die_

_I'm lost in the cold_

_I'm lost in my darkness_

_I call out to some one_

_Waiting for an answer_

_But no one hears me_

_I'm to low_

_Too low to be heard_

_Too low to be care about_

_They pull me farther_

_I'm so far I can't see any light_

_I was meant to be under all_

It was about time I confronted Hiei about his notebook. The question was how? I met Hiei in his usual spot near the temple. I looked up at him in the tree. I know he noticed me, but he didn't say anything. "Hiei," I said to him. No answer. "Hiei," I said again. This timed he looked down at me.

"What do you want?" he asked with a hint of anger.

"Hiei, I found this in your notebook," I said. I held it up to him. His eyes scanned over it.

"Yea what about it?" he asked throwing back to me. I caught it in my right hand.

"Did you write it?" I asked him.

"Isn't it my hand writing?" he asked me.

"Yes," I started to say.

"Then there is no problem," He said.

"Yes there is," I said, "the problem is what it says. Why did you write this?"

"You people said to write what I think," he said, "and that's what I have been thinking."  
"For how long?"

"Almost as long as I can remember," he said. He seemed to space out. Then a blade flew over his head. He fell out of the tree, but landed safely on his feet. I dashed over to him.

"What the hell was that?" he asked me.

"That's exactly what I was going to ask you," I said. I went over to examine the blade carved deep into the tree. It took some force to pull it out. I examined it. There in the left side of the blade was carved the letter K.

"Does this mean anything to you?" I asked turning to Hiei.

He paused a moment to long. "No. I've never seen it before."

'Interesting I thought.' I knew he had seen it before. Now I just needed to find out where.

That's all I'm writing for now. I'm tired and it's late. Also I can think of any thing. So that's all. Oh yea that poem was called under. Night...


	46. Ignored Tears

Sorry it took me awhile to write more. I was working at something called fun night at school making buttons for kids. Mine it the coolest. It has my name on it with the c backwards and has Dora the explorer stickers, and one that says I heart my little pony. Also I bought a fish with the money I 'barrowed' from my parents. He's sitting by me as I type. His name is Freddy. Also, I made sure my parents know that I'm not going to be like my brothers and sisters. Well kind of. She was complaining about me not being like my older brother Jordan. Than I said "Sorry I'm not like your precious Jordan or anyone else in this family. So shut the Hell up and leave me alone." I said very calmly but my sister said my eyes were full of anger. Ten I walked away. She apologized later but all I had to say was it doesn't matter. I have no feelings....

Normal POV-

Botan came in through the door of the temple. "It's about time you're back," Yusuke said.

"Well sorry," she said throwing a folder at him, "Do you know how many demons there is?"

"Well, you still could of came sooner," he said. Botan's eyes flickered. Yusuke skimmed over it. "That's it!" he said. "It doesn't tell us anything except his name is Quizzical!"

"Ha ha ha, that's a funny name!" Kitty laughed.

"Well," Botan said looking at Kitty with an odd look on her face, "That's all I could find."

"God this is going to help us!" Kuwabara said scarstically. He looked from side to side. "Where the hell did Hiei go?" the rest of the looked around.

Hiei POV at random tree-

I was writing again. I looked over my writing.

I'm standing right beside you 

_But you don't see me_

_I blend in with my surroundings_

_I say your name_

_But you look the other way_

_I walk in front of you_

_But you don't see me_

_I'm a ghost_

_I'm not really there_

_You look right through me_

_I'm ignored_

_But I'm used to it_

_I'm used to being alone_

_And forgotten_

_I don't try to get your attention any more_

_I give up_

_I disappear into the air_

_Then you look for me_

_But I'm already gone_

_You made me disappear_

_You look for me_

_But like I said, I'm not really here_

Then I write more

Tears of anger 

_Tears of sorrow_

_I have cried all_

_But the ones you see now are tears of pain_

_You put them there_

_You never hurt me physically_

_But killed me mentally_

_I remember what you said_

_You can't take it back_

_The pain will fade away_

_But the tears are here to stay_

_You say you are sorry_

_You act like it's ok_

_But never forget_

_Saying you're sorry won't take them away_

I heard someone coming. I shut me notebook and look around. Then I hide it. Some thing grabbed me by the ankle and pulled me down from the branch. I fell hard on the ground.

That's all I can write for now. Sorry for not really putting on a good ending, but I have homework to do. That poem was called ignored and the second one was called tears. Just written. Like I said sorry for cutting it short. Also I have hardly anyone to talk to so if you want you can email me at burpo1234 but no spaces. Thanks if you do. It helps. Bye!


	47. Why should I name this chapter?

Hi again I was raking leaves at school. Fun fun fun! Today in school we had this retreat thing, and we were making clay things. And Brandy (a backstabbing friend) said does any one want these balls. So I started calling her a perv and was insulting her about things like that. I couldn't stop. She deserved it, she is one of the people who left me in my darkness. Always calling me stupid. So I got some revenge. She better be careful what she says now, because with the way I am now I can turn a simple sentence into around twenty insults. One of my talents...

Hiei POV-

Something grabbed my ankle and pulled me down. I fell hard onto the ground. I looked up. It was Quizzical. I got up and closed my hand tightly around the notebook that had fallen from the tree.

"I'm not interested in your writings," he said with a evil smirk, "I'm interested in something else." I was about to punch me, but I punched him in the stomach. He bent over howling in pain. "I don't have time today," I said walking away. I heard him mutter something under his breath, but didn't really pay much attention. Or cared.

(Back at the temple Still Hiei POV)

"Where were you?" Yusuke asked. I ignored him and leaned against a wall.

"Well," Botan said, "We found out his name. It's Quizzical!"

"Wow I didn't know that!" I said sarcastically.

"Well if you knew why didn't you tell us?" she asked frustrated.

"I wanted to waste your time," I said shrugging. I saw a vein pop out of her head. I smirked. Ticking off Botan is fun.

"Lemme see that," Yusuke said pulling the notebook from my hand.

Yusuke POV-

I flipped through some pages. The I read one...

I'm gone now 

_And you just realize_

_You cry tears_

_But are they real?_

_No they are just staged_

_You don't know why this happened_

_My suicide_

_My blood and my knife_

_Are my only friends_

_They brought me to my death_

_That's why they are my friends_

_As the blood poured from me you watched_

_And just stood there_

_I watched you_

_Waiting to see what you would do_

_You stood_

_And now you stand by me_

_And you wonder why_

_But you let me die_

_You let me commit suicide_

'Disturbing,' I thought. "Hey have you ever thought about suicide?" I asked looking at Hiei. He shrugged.

"Every once in awhile," he said.

"But you wont do it. Will you?" Kuwabara said.

"When I want to," He said.

That's all for now. Got homework and other stuff that means nothing to me. That poem was called My Suicide. Did you think it was disturbing, or did you like it? My mom saw my writing it and freaked out. But I told her it was for a story I am writing. She believed me. But is it really for a story or did I mean it. It's getting close to it. I'm tired of having no one to tell my problems to or talk to some one I trust. So that's all.


	48. you let me bleed

I hate school. I hate life. I hate myself. Hell I hate many things. My family doesn't really like how I dress. Or the way I act. And when they find my poems they freak out. I have an excuse for almost anything. O yeah I am very depressed cause my fish Freddy died. But he lived four days that's a new record for me with fish. When I was younger I put salt in the fishes water. Yeah.. big mistake. I have many things to do. So I will just make this a Hiei POV with some of my poems. I don't know if you will like it but what the heck I got stuff to do. But enough about my life, you people are only reading this for the story so on with the story....

Hiei POV-

I was bored so I started writing.

_Do you know what its like to be hurt_

_To be hurt by friends_

_To be hurt by the people you thought cared about you_

_They all took turns_

_Took turns on killing me _

_They all stabbed me in the back_

_I felt every blow_

_The pain fades away_

_Till I see you_

_Your face brings back the memory_

_And the pain_

_You don't know my pain_

_You don't know why I hurt_

_Everything is all right_

_That's what you think_

_That pain never goes away_

_The pain of being hurt by your friends_

_It hurts too much_

_Maybe I just imagine it_

_But it hurts too much for it not to be real_

_So I let it fade_

_But it's still real_

_I'm lost_

_Lost in the darkness_

_Lost in my hate_

_For a second I hear you_

_But then you are gone_

_I am lost in myself_

_I am lost in my coldness_

_Nothing but black is around me_

_I can't see_

_I can't feel_

_I'm too lost to be saved_

_I wander on my own_

_Only being swallowed into the darkness_

_My heart_

_I wait for you_

_Wait for you to take me to the other side_

_But you forget me_

_I will remain lost_

_Lost in my darkness_

_Lost in my soul_

_I'm bleeding_

_You don't try to stop it_

_You made me bleed_

_Crimson surrounds me_

_My blood is on the floor_

_And at your feet_

_I want to stop it_

_But I cant_

_So I continue to bleed_

_My blood pours_

_And you stand_

_Watching_

_I'm falling_

_I'm going under_

_I'm dieing_

_Dieing on the inside_

_You let me bleed_

_But you haven't noticed_

_The blood is at your feet _

_And on your hands_

_You don't care_

_My pain is invisible to you_

_You made me bleed_

_You left me to die_

_I should be out of blood_

_But I'm not_

_I will bleed forever_

_Why did you hurt me?_

_Why did you let me die?_

_You drug me under_

_Under you _

_Under everything_

_You let me burn_

_You destroyed me_

_Mentally _

_And spiritually_

_I can't fly_

_I can't even crawl_

_You drug me under_

_But why_

_All I did was be a friend to you_

_But you hurt me_

_So I let you take me under_

_You say you care_

_But then I died_

_You let me die_

_I killed myself_

_You want to know why_

_Look in the mirror_

_And you'll see why_

_Why I committed suicide_

Ok that's all I can write sorry if it seemed long but I didn't have time to think today for more to add. But next time I will. I have a big test and I can't think about anything else right now. And I already had these things written down so I just typed them quick. So did you like them? The first one was called hurt, the second one was lost and the third one was bleed and the last one was called why. That's all for now.


	49. trying is the first step to failing

Hey. I aced my history test. Blah blah blah... also I went back to how I used to be for awhile. Yeah then I remember why I changed. I was always letting people pushing my around. It was like I didn't even have a say in what I did. Even if my other way of life is depressing, it's better than being pushed around and acting like a puppet. I even had the stupid fake smile. I become everything I hated. But know I'm back to how I was...or am now. Whatever. And no this won't be all poems cause I can't think of anymore, well it takes awhile. So on with the story...

(Kitty- light blonde wavy hair, light pink streaks, pink sweat pants, pink fleece jacket, pink entnees shoes)

Hiei POV-

Kitty and me where walking around the temple grounds where we where met by Quizzical. "About time you came," he said.

"Shut the hell up," Kitty said wit hanger growing in her eyes, "We didn't come here to see you, you faggot!"

"DO you even know what faggot means?" he asked.

"No shit Sherlock I use words that I don't know the meaning of," she said rolling her eyes. My eyes flickered back and forth between them as they spoke.

"Bastard," he said under his breath.

"Actually my parents were married when I was born," she said. "Why don't you go away and find some pigeon to stalk."

"Shut the hell up bitch," he said.

"Yeah I know I'm a bitch and I'm damn pound of it too. So go find someone else to stalk," she said.

"I don't take orders from anyone," he said folding his arms.

"Well you do now," she said. She turned to me, "Come n Hiei let's go." She turned and walked away. I stood there for a while, and he stared at me. There was something odd about his eyes. Then I went to catch up with Kitty.

"God he better not come near here again or I swear I'll gouge his beat little eyes out!" She said through clenched teeth.

"What's gotten into you?" I asked her.

"Nothing. Nothing at all," she said calmly, "I just hate him with a passion." Then she smirked.

"What are you thinking?" I asked her. She had a murderous glint in her eyes.

"Noting of importance," she said. "Just different ways to murder that figment bastard." I smirked and fallowed her.

Five Hours later 

Hiei POV-

I got bored and started writing.

I try to talk to you 

_But you don't listen_

_We stand side by side,_

_You push me_

_I try to stop falling_

_But I cant_

_I fall farther_

_When I think I reached the bottom_

_You push me down farther_

_Now its dark_

_And I can't see_

_I put my hand_

_And try to find you_

_But you left_

_Now I stay here alone_

_I give up_

_I give up on trying_

Then I heard something. A bush started to move. I kept my eyes on the paper. Watching everything out of the corner of my eye. Preparing myself for anything that might come out....

Well it passed my bedtime so good night. That poem was called try.And if any of you other people have any other poems, so I don't have to kept writing cause its worrying my family (Especially my Suicide) email them to me. don't write under score. K? Bye.


	50. Reflection

Yeah I'm back again. More of my disturbing poems. Or at least that what my friends think, the ones that read them. Well today I was going through my closet looking for my boots, but while I was looking I found my pokemon cards, my pikachu stuffed animal, my ferby and my diva star. I hate that ferby. They are annoying and creepy. We played hockey today, and I trick people to think I wont play hard. I half skip and walk to the circle when I was a forward. And right before the gym teacher blew the whistle I went from a fake smile to a smirk and narrowed my eyes, and get serious. I ran circles around them. But someone knocked me down and now I usually get revenge. So I whacked the person in the stomach. It looked accidental and I didn't hit them hard. Well I should start with the story...

Hiei POV-

Then I heard something. A bush started to move. I kept my eyes on the paper. Watching everything out of the corner of my eye. Preparing myself for anything that might come out....

But it was just Kuwabara. "Why were you in a bush?" I asked him.

His face looked blank, "I forget." I rolled my eyes. Then Quizzical came out of the forest. "Hey you're that crazy stalker!" he said pointing at him.

"I'm not his stalker!" he said trying to defend himself.

"Then why are you here?" I asked him.

He smiled, "Just walking by." And then he left.

"Freak," Kuwabara said. Kitty and Botan came out arguing with Yusuke and Kurama trailing behind them.

"What are fighting about?" Kuwabara asked them. But they were too busy arguing to hear.

"Well," Kurama said, "first it started out about a conversation about what type of demon that Quizzical is."

"That friggen moron thinks he is a fairy type thing," Kitty said folding her arms and rolling her eyes.

"I didn't say I think he is! I said he might be! Besides nothing is impossible," she said also folding her arms.

"Oh yea then why cant I slam a rotating door?" Kitty asked leaning back. She paused in thought. While they went back to arguing I went back to writing.

As you watch the blood pour from me 

_Many thoughts race through your head_

_But don't worry I'll soon be dead_

_I keep bleeding_

_Never stopping_

_You want me to stop_

_But you don't help_

_This is suicide to you_

_But I didn't do it_

_You'll never guess who_

_They pushed me down_

_They didn't care_

_To them it didn't matter if I was here_

_So think harder_

_And you'll see_

_Who did this to me?_

_You let me bleed _

_You let me die_

_You're wrong_

_This is not suicide_

_Check a mirror_

_You'll see who killed me_

_And let me die_

_But don't forget I didn't commit suicide_

_Your reflections shows my killer_

_But you don't believe_

_You think its suicide_

_You look back at your self_

_And think it's ok_

_I'm not really dead_

_You start crying_

_And you realize_

_This was not suicide_

_You cut me _

_Left me for dead_

_At least you know this isn't suicide_

_You try to forget_

_But when you look in the mirror_

_You will remember me_

_The one you killed_

_The one you let die_

_The one you thought committed suicide_

_The mirror tells no lies_

_So don't forget_

_You are the one who let me die_

"Hey Hiei," I heard Yusuke say. I look up. "What are you writing?

"Words," I said.

"I know that," he said.

"Then why did you ask me?" I asked him.

"Just give me that," he said as he yanked it from my hand. I watched him as he read it. His expression and the look in his eyes changed. Everyone else gathered around him as they read. I smirked watching as all their faces fell.

"Do you really mean this?" Kurama asked.

"Mean what?" I asked. He sighed.

"The suicide," he said.

Maybe yes, maybe no. Either way I'll never tell," I said flatly.

That's all I can write now. Stuff to do. Mostly stupid things. I fell down the stairs this week while roller blading in the house. So much fun. That poem was called reflection. Wrote it about a "friend" of mine that called me stupid and always said I cant see you doing that when I tried to do something new for four years. Also if you are wondering why I changed. It's because I was thinking about I would be better off that way. And I don't like people knowing what I am thinking. Well bye.


	51. It was Wednesday when I wrote this

Well I'm supposed to babysitting right now so this will be kinda short. He He he I'm so responsible. I learned how to writejapenese symbols. I put bad on the back of my note book. Then my firends and some other people wanted them soI charged thema buck for it cuase it's my paper, my tome, and my sharpie ink.I was reading over my reviews a few days back, and a couple of reviews made me think my family life. And SPECIAL THANKS to Hiei-lonewolf! Because of you (if you read this) and reviews that you mentioned your family made me think my family isn't as bad as some other people (no offence but you make your family life sound bad) And now maybe I can last through the holidays. So THANKS A MILLION! And now I added you to my favorite writers for your stories and saving me from drowning in darkness Speaking of family, I haven't heard my sisters and brother in awhile. I should look for them so this might be short. Oops….

Hiei POV (writing in notebook)-

I'm in the dark

But it's ok

I'm use to it

The darkness has become my friend

Unlike you

You're the reason that I cry

You're the reason I think of suicide

You're the one who brought me here to die

But I only died on the inside

The darkness is cold to you

But not to me

It surrounds me

The darkness has never left me

Unlike you

You left me here in the dark

Just me and suicide

You can't see the darkness

The darkness that surrounds me

While I disappear

You fear the darkness will come

Come and surround you

The darkness is my master

It doesn't want you

And neither do I

You left me

Left me to die

The thought that I left you

Makes you cry

But I didn't leave

You did

You left me to die

I know you will never return

So I commit suicide

Not because you left me

Not because you lied

You said you would always be there

One reason I committed suicide

Is you

You let me die

You made me cry

You're the reason that I died

While you cry

I smile

Smile with my darkness

My master

I smile because of my suicide

Yeah that's all. That poem was called friend. Sorry I couldn't write anything better right now. I need to find them now. They might kill each other. But then again that's a few problems taken care of. And yet again I won't get five dollars. Decisions Decisions Decisions. Well I doubt I can write soon, cause of the holidays. May god help me through this. Well it should be little better now. So bye…


	52. Has any1 else my chs titles dont really ...

Hey. We put up or Christmas decorations yesterday and today. It's so sparkly. I hate it. And the never-ending Christmas music is driving me insane. I made it through Thanksgiving, hopefully Christmas. Also I have to go back to school tomorrow. I hate it because the work and the stuck up rich snobs. If I ever get the chance I will murder them the bastards. Sorry about that. Also I have to get revenge on a 'friend' for making another friend cry. Fun fun fun. Can you say BLACK MAIL!! Oh and I did find my little brother and sister. They were in their beds sleeping. I put the to bed almost an hour before I wrote that. I forgot. I can be a blonde (that's because I have blonde hair) sometimes, every once in a great while. And I had to go see Polar Express with my family. I choked on my pop during the previews, cause they were showing something for a new Pooh Bear movie and my sister said heflelup while they had a big pause and then rabbit said a funny way. So that caused me to choke on the pop. That movie was weird. And stupid. Well on with the story. Oh yeah what's an authors note?

(Kitty- blonde hair, long white shirt with a black shirt over it that has _My imaginary friend says you have serious mental problems _written in blue, and is wearing black jeans)

Kitty POV-

I'm so bored. Nothing changes everything just repeats. The only thing that changes is the black notebook when Hiei updates.

(Kitty reading)-

Listen 

_Can you hear me?_

_No_

_To you I have no voice_

_No heart_

_Not even a soul_

_I listen _

_Listen to you_

_Every word_

_Every sentence_

_I listen to the hate voice_

_You're talking to me_

_Killing me_

_Killing me with words_

_They seem to bounce off me_

_But they sting inside_

_The pain lingers in my heart_

_And in my soul_

_Nut this means nothing to you_

_So leave _

_Let me die_

_Don't try to save me_

_So listen to me _

_I don't care_

_And neither do you_

_You ignore me_

_Ignore me pain_

_My tears_

_My tears of suicide_

_My tears of blood_

_Every mark you make_

_Every punch I take_

_Brings me a step closer_

_A step closer to towards death_

_A step towards life with no pain_

_Life without you_

_So listen_

_I won't cry_

_Only because I want to die_

Hiei POV-

I as walking though the forest when I was met by Quizzical. We both stopped for a brief moment. Without warning he had me pinned up against a tree. I knocked out of his grasp. "What do you want?" I asked him getting annoyed. He only smiled. He had an abnormal smile. It didn't seem real. It gave me an uneasy feeling.

"You know what I want," He said still smiling.

"No I don't," I said to him. His smiled never left his face even though I could see fire of anger and frustration in his eyes.

"Don't toy with me," he said, "You know. I know you do."

"Can you read minds?" I asked him.

"No."

"Then you don't know if I know," I said to him folding my arms across my chest. His smile got sicker.

"You're cute when you do that," he said to me. I dropped my arms to my sides.

"You are one bizarre thing," I said to him. He just smiled. Nothing seemed to get him mad. What was he planning? His remark left me dazed in confusion and discussed. Before I knew it he had me pinned up against the tree again. He pulled out a small carving knife, and stabbed me in the upper arm. He smiled and twisted the blade around inside me hoping to cause me to scream in pain. I only smirked. He took out the knife and stabbed me again over and over in the arm. "Why won't you scream? Why won't you scream?" He yelled.

I smirked, "I don't scream," I said. He only smiled more and stabbed me harder.

"Why? Why can't you? He said grinding his teeth.

"Pain doesn't bother me," I said. "At least not any more." He stopped. I took this moment to my advantage. I kneed him in to the stomach causing him to roll on the ground screaming in pain. "That wasn't fair!" He said through breaths.

"Just using your stupidity to my advantage," I said holding my arm trying to keep the blood in, but it wasn't working that well.

"I will get revenge for this. I swear," he said smiling. And with that he got up and left. He slumped to the ground and took in a few breaths. I got up and staggered back to the temple.

Yep that's all I can write for now. Don't know if I will have much time to update cause of the holidays. But I'll try. That poem was called listen. It's dedicated to my friend Toki. And I didn't get paid for babysitting! That's completely messed up! Especially since I had to play Barbies with my little sister. And one Barbie's head "accidentally" fell off. He he he. Well bye!


	53. Looks like chapter 53

Well I lost it to day. First my 'friend' kept calling me stupid and I have been hearing this for over four years. She kept saying it over and over. Then I went into an emotional melt down. Now I'm wearing black. Black shirt black pants. My pen marks in my notebook look like stab marks and they are red do it look like blood. The only light in my room is the light of this laptop. For a while I pretended every thing was fine. I skated around my attic listening to American Idiot and singing along with it. I can dance on my skates. It drove my family crazy and scared them. LOL. So I'm trying to fight the feeling to cut myself. My hands are shaking; it's gotten that bad. GOD I HATE HER!!! I WANT HER TO BUTN IN HELL!! Sorry but you don't know her.

Hiei POV-

I slumped to the ground and took in a few breaths. I got up and staggered back to the temple. No matter how much I wanted to stop I kept on going. I started to feel light headed. My world spun around me. It hurt. I'll admit it. Nut I would never let them know. I kept going. My vision started to blur. I was at the steps of the temple. I fell to my knees still holding my arm. I didn't have the energy to get up. I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

That's all I'm writing for now…

just kidding! There's more.

(Kitty- black shirt that says If people say I have a brain then why cant I see it? Written in blue, and black baggy pants. Wavy red hair with light blue and dark blue streaks)

Hiei POV some time later-

God my head hurt. I slowly opened my eyes. The light was blinding. I squinted trying to block it. "It's about time you got up," I heard Yusuke say. I tried to get up.

"Don't get up too fast," Kurama said smiling. I frowned. "What the hell happened?" I asked looking around at my surroundings.

"We found you on the steps," Kuwabara said. "You were bleeding pretty badly."

-Flashback- 

"Have you seen Hiei?" Kurama asked. The rest looked at each other. They were just coming home from school.

"No," Kuwabara said, "No wonder I have been so happy." Kitty stuck out her foot and tripped him. "What was that for?" he said while Yusuke and Kurama helped him up.

"For being you," She said still walking ahead not looking back at him. They were almost to the steps to the temple.

"Hey who's that," Yusuke said pointing to something lying on the steps. They run over to check.

"Oh my God! It's Hiei!" Kitty screamed changing her steady running pace to a sprint. With Yusuke, Kurama, and Kuwabara running close behind her. She fell to her knees beside him on the verge of tears. Kurama knelt by her. He examined Hiei. He was still breathing. 'At least for now,' he thought. He picked him up and carried him back into the temple with the others close behind him.

_-End flashback-_

Hiei POV the next day writing-

You want to know why this happened 

_You look at me_

_Watching me bleed_

_I look at you_

_And you look back_

_You think I did this_

_This suicidal deed_

_But I'm not the one holding the knife_

_You are_

_The blood on your hands_

_You don't recognize_

_You don't know what to do_

_So you watch_

_Watch yourself kill me_

_The pain hurts too much_

_But you don't realize_

_That you are making me die_

_Maybe I want to_

_Maybe I don't_

_I know the ending to this_

_You will never stop_

_I will bleed always_

_I don't know why you hate me_

_Now I'm cold_

_And I hate everyone_

_And everything_

_Especially my reflection_

_The scars I wear_

_Will never fade_

_My tears of blood_

_Are here to stay_

_You forced them here_

_You're never sorry_

_You never cared_

_That's why I'm no longer here_

_Now that I'm gone_

_You have no one to hurt_

_Now that I'm dead_

_You shed tears_

_Because I am no longer here_

_I feel no pain _

_I feel no sorrow_

_I can't feel anything_

_I'm still here with you_

_But I'm dead_

_Dead in my mind _

_Dead in my soul_

_Numb forever_

_But you still go on_

_Go on and ill me_

_I know you will never stop_

_And that is how it will end_

Well that's all I can write now. That poem was called you're Never Sorry. I just wrote that when I was mad at **_that _**person. I don't hate everyone and everything. I hate many people and many things. I like some people and things. Now my self-asteam is back to a negative 15. I'll be ok though so don't worry. I'll try to get over it. And my other friend just noticed some things about me. That my hair is usually in my face, that I always wear black boots everyday, I wear dark clothes when wear don't have to wear uniforms AND AT HOME, that I walk in the shadows or with my head down, and that I never make eye contact with anyone. It's been going on for four years it's about time she noticed. Not that I care. Well that's all. Back to my darkness. Bye.


	54. I h8 School

(Jumping, laughing hysterically, and signing) I got revenge! I got revenge!! Who ever said revenge isn't sweet is wrong! Ha ha ha! (Back to normal depressing self) Ok this is how it went. Well a few days ago my 'friend' Brady (the one killing my from the inside) slapped me when I defied her orders. It didn't hurt, but I knew it went too far then. So I was up all night with my other friend, Becca, thinking of a way to get back. Finally it struck me. So today at lunch, while she went to get a napkin, I pulled out some hot sauce from my pencil bag (I don't really carry it around, just today) and since having little drops go in at once takes to long, I quickly unscrewed the bottle and poured I third in her milk, and some more on what ever we had for lunch. (Couldn't tell what it was) When she at the food and tasted the hot sauce, she went for her milk. But 'unfortunately' there was hot sauce in there too. Becca and I were laughing our heads off. She tried to hit my again after school, but I caught her arm and twisted it around. And left her in shock and pain. And I can only make this chapter short, since my computer time is limited because I am failing many subjects in school. So here's the chapter…

Hiei POV writing-

You look around you

The crimson puddle of blood at your feet

The body near you

You don't know what happened

You tighten your grip

And realize the knife you are holding in your bloody hand

You walk to the person

To check if they are alive

You turn it over

And wipe away the blood

Fear takes your eyes

It's me

But how you want to know

This is suicide you think

But I'm not the one holding the knife

You are

This is impossible

Your face is wet

Wet with tears and blood

So now you cry

Now that I'm dead

And now that I feel no pain

Why is the only word that crosses your mind

As time goes by you forget

Forget me

Forget your crimes

My face haunts you

The one you killed

One day you found the knife

The invisible blood is still there

The memory floods back to your mind

The blood comes back

But it's ok

I wanted to die

So don't cry

There's no reason

I'm still not dead

I'm still here

At least my body is

But my soul is gone

You shattered it

You made it disappear

My eyes and heart are empty

You smile now that I'm back

But you continue to kill me

But you don't know

I may appear to be alive

But I'm really dead

(Another poem)

Memories of you hurt me

You drove me to this

So don't cry

Unit now I was miserable

It's your fault this happened

Coldness has taken me over

I don't feel anything anymore

Don't forget who made this possible

Every punch I took drove me to this

(What's unique about each first letter of the first word on each line? The you will know what happened to me)

Well that's all I can write for now. Did you figure it out? The first poem was called You Don't Know, and the second one was called, My Riddle of Fate. Well bye!


	55. Bloody Knife

Hey! It's my little sister, Emma's fifth birthday today. I pretend to be happy. I have had fun. It's a Barbie princess and the pauper style. For her present from me, after she cried after she heard she had to get shots, I gargled/sang the Barbie princess and the pauper songs. Yes I know all the words. And my little brother said I couldn't eat two pieces of cake with just my hands, but I proved him wrong! LOL. Yeah, well on with the story. Sorry I have to make this short too. Sorry but I have birthday things to do, and Christmas things. So yeah sorry.

Hiei Writing POV-

You watch me as I laugh 

_I laugh with tears in my eyes_

_These are tears of suicide_

_You don't understand_

_Why this happened to me_

_My suicide_

_But you gave me the knife_

_You drove it into me_

_All I did was give me the final push_

_I laugh as I die_

_You think I'm crazy_

_But you don't know what happened_

_Why I cry_

_I really didn't want this suicide_

_I fought back_

_But then gave in_

_I realized I shouldn't try_

_But it's ok_

_Now that I'm dead_

_The pain is gone_

_It faded away_

_But these tears will always remain_

_My tears of pain_

_My tears of sorrow_

_My tears of suicide_

_But it's ok they don't matter_

_To you this never happened_

_To you I felt no pain_

_To you I never went away_

_Now that I'm gone_

_You have no one to hurt_

_No one to kill_

_No one to take advantage of_

_Now you are alone_

_Now that I'm gone_

_Your bloody blade symbolizes my death_

_My suicide_

_And my tears_

_My tears of pain_

_My tears of sorrow_

_My tears of suicide_

_You are the one who gave me the knife_

_You let me die_

_You drove me to suicide_

_So thank you for the bloody knife_

_That brought me to the end_

_It's now my only friend_

"Hey," I heard some one say. I looked up and narrowed my eyes.

"What do you want?" I said to Kuwabara.

He shrugged, "Nothing."

"Then why did you talk to me?" I asked him.

"I don't know," he said.

"Next time have a reason before wasting my time," I said shutting the notebook.

"Can I see that?" he asked me. I sighed and slid it across the floor. He looked through it. "What does this mean?" he asked.

"What does what mean?" I asked walking over to him. He pointed at one of my writings. I looked at it, the smirked. "What do you think it means?" I asked him."

Kuwabara POV Reading-

_Memories of you made this possible_

_You drove me to this_

_So don't say you're sorry it's already too late_

_Until now I was miserable_

_I couldn't feel a thing_

_Continuously you hurt me_

_It finally killed me_

_Death is now my say savior_

Every hit I took made this possible 

"I still don't get it," I said.

"Read the first letter of each line," Hiei said.

'M Y S U I C I D E,' I thought. "Hm," I said. Hiei rolled his eyes. "Give me some time to think."

"God this could take hours," he muttered.

I thought some more. "I got it!" I said, "It says my suicide." I frowned. "What's that have to do with the poem?"

He sighed, "Read it again."

I reread it. "Oh, it's all about suicide!"

"No shit," he said folding his arms. "It's about time you're figured out.

"You know you are one suicidal person," I said.

"I know," he said smirking.

"Are you happy about it?" I asked him. He frowned.

"I'm never happy."

"You're one weird little person," I said to him as we walked away.

"You shouldn't be talking," he said.

Hiei POV-

It was about time to moron noticed what it meant. We kept walking, till I heard something. I stopped dead in my tracks. But he kept walking. He noticed I was no longer beside him. "Why did you stop?" he said walking back towards me. I said nothing. I still stood there staring out to the left. He looked over too. "What is it?" he asked me. Still I said nothing. The bushes started to move. And something started to come out…

Yep that's all I'm writing for now. The first poem was called Bloody Knife. And the second one I used was called Riddle of Fate. Yeah I used it last time. I'm going to play Barbie princess and the pauper now with my little sister. Yes I am going to play Barbies. So bye.


	56. Ch 56I think

Sorry I haven't written more in awhile. I kinda forgot about it. Otherwise nothing has happened since then except I am in a punk band now. Named by me (Exiles) founded by me, and lyrics written by me. Yeah write my own lyrics now. Who would have thought? Me, my friend Becca and an aquatics (Becca's friend) Katie are in it. I am going to play lead guitar. If you want you can email me and ask for some lyrics if you are interested. Well that's about it….

**I haven't done this in awhile; I own nothing but Kitty and this story plot.**

**Hiei POV**

**(Kitty- blonde hair black highlights, black shirt with a gothic fairy on it, army pants, and black boots.)**

We kept walking, till I heard something. I stopped dead in my tracks. But he kept walking. He noticed I was no longer beside him. "Why did you stop?" he said walking back towards me. I said nothing. I still stood there staring out to the left. He looked over too. "What is it?" he asked me. Still I said nothing. The bushes started to move. And something started to come out…

Then a squirrel came out. "Awe look at the cute little squirrel," Kuwabara said. But then the squirrel fell to the ground. It looked like it was hit by a rock. "What the hell just happened?" he asked. I smirked. "You killed it didn't you? How could you kill a cute squirrel?"

"That is one reason I killed it," I said.

"I'm going to leave you alone," Kuwabara said. He walked away. Either he was very upset about the squirrel or I scared the moron.

Besides I don't need him. So I walked alone. I walked all the way from the forest to the ningen town. I watched all the happy people walking by with their family and friends. To me everyone looked the same. Noone looked different from the wither. People running by having no regard for each anyone else. But this didn't bother me. Everyone seemed to have somewhere to go. Except me.

Since having nowhere else to go I walked to Kitty's house. I knocked on her door, but no one answered. So I went in anyway. I found her in the kitchen with headphones. She was playing the music so loud you could hear it from where I was standing. She was singing to the music. "Zieg Hail to the president gasman. Bombs away is you punishment. Pulverize the Eiffel tower who criticize your government. Bang bang goes the broken glass, kill all the fags that don't agree. Trials by fire setting fire, is not a way that's meant for me. Just cause, just cause because we are outlaws yeah! I beg to dream and differ from the hallow lives this is the dawning of the rest of- ." but she saw me. (I don't own Holiday the song Kitty was singing) "Oh sorry I was listening to Green Day. I didn't hear you come in," she said getting up. "So what's up?"

"Nothing. I just came here because I had nothing to do," I said.

"Wasn't it Kuwabara turn to make sure nothing happens to you?" she asked me.

I gave an evil smirk, "He left after I killed a squirrel."

"God why did you kill it?" she asked. I didn't answer. "Never mind," she sighed, "Let's go."

**Normal POV-**

They left to go walk aimlessly. While they were walking they passed two boys who stopped roller-skating and watched them. It was clear that Kitty wanted to avoid them by the way she started to walk a little faster. One of them purposely tripped Kitty. "What the fuck," she said getting up. They just laughed. Before Hiei could pound their faces, Kitty stopped him. "It's ok. Lets just leave," she said to Hiei. But he didn't listen to her.

"What shorty going to do?" one of them asked in a teasing voice. Hiei scowled, that only made them happier. Hiei clenched my fists. And either of the two boys could think about what was just happening, Hiei knocked the one that tripped Kitty on the ground. The boy reached up to his nose. When he moved his hand it was covered in blood.

Hiei helped Kitty up and they were walking away. Kitty was smiling grateful for what Hiei had just done. Hiei smirked, but his expression changed from being semi-happy to an expression filled with pain. Suddenly the other boy's roller skate connects with the back of Hiei's head and he falls onto the sidewalk, his head making an audible crack. Kitty is immediately beside him. A small pool of blood surrounds his head. "Hiei, Hiei wake up! Please wake up!" she said shaking him try desperately to get a response.

"Oh shit," the boy that through the roller skate said, "Um we got to go." They turned to run away but they were stopped short. Kitty grabbed the back of their shirts. "You are staying here," she said sternly to them. They stopped. "I'm going to call some friends to help and you two stay here."

"What if we don't want to?" one of the boys said acting tuff.

"If you do leave," Kitty said crossing her arms, "I will make sure the police will know about this."

"Can she do that?" the boys whispered to the other one. The other one just shrugged. Since they didn't want to take any chances if getting in trouble they stayed leaning against the wall waiting for Kitty to finish her calls. "Hello is Yusuke there?" she asked talking into her telephone, "Yes I can wait I minute." Kitty sighs and starts tapping her foot impatiently, "Yusuke is that you? Ok well come her and bring Kuwabara as soon as possible. Hiei needs help, I think he is seriously hurt. Where are we?" she looked up at a straight sign. "At the corner of 11th avenue. What are we doing there? I don't know we were just walking. Ok, just come as soon as you can please." She hung up.

"Are you done yet?" a boy asked.

"NO I have to call someone else," she said rolling her eyes, "Hello Mrs. Minamino is Kurama there? He is, can I talk to him? Thank you. Hello Kurma can you come here immediately I think Hiei is seriously hurt. We are at the corner of 11th avenue. Ok see you later than and hurry!"

'Come on guys,' Kitty thought, 'please hurry I don't know how much longer Hiei can last.'

**Yeah have to end it there. Also did any one notice I had no poem this time? I didn't write a new one because I was writing lyrics. I might next time. Sorry this is short but have to help get things ready for new years. Fun fun fun. I hope I can get through this with out killing the. I promise next time I will make it longer. Bye! **


	57. 

Hn sorry I didn't want to update until now. So don't say anything I have been doing some other things. Making new friends, and some other things too. So yeah here is the next chapter.

Yusuke POV-

As soon as Kitty had hung up I went running out the door. The only time I stopped running was when I had to stop at the cross walk. God there was so many fucking people out today. Why today?

I ran to the other side of town where Kitty said she and Hiei were. By the time I got there, Kuwabara was already their watching Kurama checking Hiei. 'Damn I'm the last one here,' I thought. I looked around. "Hey didn't you say there was two other people? Where the hell are they?" I asked Kitty.

"I told them they could leave as soon as I saw Kurama coming," she said not moving her eyes from Hiei and Kurama. I looked around. There was some blood on the sidewalk, which isn't unusual for this side of town. Otherwise all there was, was some rundown houses, and noone seemed to be around. "So how is he?" I asked.

Kurama looked up. 'He's going to be fine. He has a small bump on the back of his head and the bleeding isn't bad. I got it to stop at least," he said. I smiled knowing that he is going to be ok. "But we should take him somewhere just incase if someone get suspicious," he said sounding more serous.

"Why?" I asked. 'Stupid question,' I thought. If they find out he has a third eye we will be in deep shit. "Never mind."

"So where is he going to stay then?" Kuwabara asked.

Kurama took some time to think. "Well we can't get to the temple. It's too far away. And it will be too hard to get him across town with out someone nothing that we are carrying an unconscious person." The rest of us took sometime to think about our problem too.

I looked at Hiei. He still lay there not moving at all. I sighed frustrated. "I can call my sister," Kuwabara spoke up. We looked at him. "She can drive here and get us. Then we can go to my house…. I guess."

"Well it will be easier than carrying him," Kurama said thoughtfully. He paused. "Yes I think that will work. Do any of you know where the nearest phone is? I'm not familiar with this side of town."

"I'm not going to ask any people living here," Kuwabara said, "There is to may weird people here." He shuttered.

"I got a cell phone," Kitty said pulling it out of her pocket. She handed it to Kuwabara, who called his sister. We waited for him to finish the call. "Great see you then," he said hanging up. He looked at us, "She'll be here in a few minutes."

I sighed. "She better hurry I hate this place," I said looking around, "It's starting to give me the creeps. There is something weird about this place."

Kitty and Kuwabara looked around too. 'Hey this place does look familiar," Kitty said. A look of shock came over her face. "I know where we are! I saw this in the newspaper a few years ago!" she pointed to a dull pink house not far from where we were standing. "That house is where that lady murdered her three kids. Remember?" she said wide-eyed.

"Yah I think so," I said. Just then a car pulled up in front of us. The window rolled down. It was Kuwabara's sister.

"Come on guys I don't have all day," she said sounding somewhat annoyed. Kurama carefully lifted Hiei up from the ground and carried him to the car. Kitty got in the front seat, Kuwabara and I got in the back. Kurama joined us sitting Hiei in his lap.

I still could see him breathing which is a good sign. Shizuru started up the car and drove to Kuwabara's and her house. "Hurry up and get out," she said when we got there, "I got somewhere to go. But be careful." She threw Kuwabara a set of house keys. He caught them and went to unlock the door. He led us into the living room where Kurama laid Hiei on the couch.

"You know we should call Yukina," he said with a stupid grin on his face, "You know to check on Hiei."

"Yeah I bet," I muttered. I took a seat in a chair near Hiei.

"You know that isn't a bad idea," Kurama said. "Where are you telephone?"

"I'll call her!" he said. He skipped over to he telephone and walked to the hall with it so noone would listen in on his conversation. "Make sure she comes," Kurama called to him.

"You know it's kind of pathetic the way that he worships her," Kitty said with a sympathetic look on her face. But she shrugged it off. "Neh its funny too." He finally hung up and came back in.

"She said she is on her way and will be here as soon as possible," he said sitting on the floor. "I don't know why she cares so much about the shrimp. He's weird."

"You know if Yukina likes him you should try to be nicer to him, "Kurama said as he leaned back onto a wall putting his hand in his pockets.

We waited for Yukina to come. When she did Kuwabara was waiting at the door for her. He even opened the door before she knocked. "Um hello Kuzuma," she said as she stepped in. "You seem to be excited about me coming here." She walked over to Hiei to check on him.

"I am always happy to see you. And I was worried about the shrimp, I mean shorty," He said remembering Kurama's advice. Yukina checked over Hiei's limp body. He still made no sound except for his soft breathing.

"I think he will be fine," she said when she finished. "But I think you should make sure he gets some rest."

"We will," Kurama said moving from the wall over to the rest of us. Yukina headed to the door.

"Hey Yukina you can stay if you want," Kuwabara said trying to convince her to stay longer.

She smiled. "I guess I could stay a little longer." For the rest if the time she was here we talked about some things, but mostly nothing. Yukina left some time later. Kurama and Kitty left shortly after. I decide to stay the night at Kuwabara's to make sure that Hiei wasn't giving him to much problems and that the next time I see them one of them will be dead.

It wasn't till around 5 o'clock p.m. when Hiei came back to conscious. He sat up and had an expression of pain on his face as he got up. "Where the Hell am I?" he asked rubbing the side of his head.

"My house," Kuwabara said. Hiei laid back down hitting his head on the arm of the couch.

"What happened?" he asked us.

"Not really," I told him going over to him, "all we know is that you pissed off someone and they threw something at you. That's all that Kitty said anyways."

"Oh yeah that," he said smirking remembering. "Baka ningens. It's their fault for messing with me." I smiled.

He tried to get up again but whimpered in pain. I put my hand on his forehead. "Don't touch me," he said trying to get my hand away. But I had Kuwabara hold him down so I could see what was wrong with him. "I'm fine!" he said struggling, but we held him down.

"Hold still shrimp," Kuwabara said. Hiei kneed him in the head.

"Don't call me that," he said angrily. Kuwabara rubbed his head with one hand but still tried to hold Hiei down, but Hiei still struggled. He finally stopped squirming but he gave me a dirty look as I checked his head for bleeding or anything else. "I'm just trying to help you," I said.

"Hn I don't need help," he said angrily. He sighed. "I don't care," he said quietly.

"We are just trying to stop you from being in pain," I said looking at him.

He looked away. "I don't care if I feel pain or not. I seem to always be in pain." Kuwabara and I exchanged glances.

"Ok done," I said. I let him lay back down. "Do you need anything?"

"Hn," he said folding his arms.

"Is that a yes or a no?" Kuwabara asked me. I shrugged.

"It's a no," Hiei said.

"You sure?" I asked him raising an eyebrow. He hesitated then nodded.

"Well I'm going to call my mom and tell her I'm staying here tonight. And Kuwabara is going to be leaving with some friends later," I told him, "Just call if you need one of us." He made no sign of caring so I went to call my mom.

"Hey mom," I said into the phone.

"Who is this?" I heard her ask.

"It's me mom! Who else would call you mom," I said annoyed.

"Oh Yusuke," she said, "Where are you?"

"I'm staying the night at Kuwabara's. Not that you care. So I'll be home sometime in the morning," I told her.

"Yeah that's fine," she said. I heard something break in the background. "Oops I better go. The party is getting a little out of hand."

"Party?" I asked confused, "What the Hell is going on?"

"Nothing to worry about. Sorry I have to go. Call back later!" she said. Before I could even say good-bye she hung up/

"Bye mom I'll see you later," I said sarcastically to noone. I slammed the phone down. I turned around seeing Hiei behind me.

"Are you ok?" he asked me.

"Yeah I'm fine. Why?"

He shrugged. "Nothing you sounded mad."

"Oh," I said. I came back to my scenes. "You shouldn't be up. Go back and lay down."

He frowned and folded his arms. "I don't want to. Besides I don't have to."

I sighed. "Yes you are. Don't make me carry you."

He scowled. "You wouldn't," he said.

"Try me," I said. I took a step forward and he took a step back. "Go now," I ordered him. He gave me a death glare but I didn't give in. he scowled and went back to the living room. I sighed.

**Well got to go. Yes there isn't another poem. Didn't feel like putting one in. so yeah. Odd chapter wasn't it…. But could get better. I'm not that good of a writer. Bye! **


	58. OOO they changed the rating thing

Sorry I guess for taking awhile to update. I have had a lot of things to work on. I just finished writing a story that my friends tell me to publish. I might just for the Hell of it, so I'll tell you if that happens (ha ha ha!) No seriously I will. Well back to my story.

**Hiei POV-**

Damn detective and his idiotic friend. I don't know why I even bother staying here anyways; I could just kill the two in a matter of seconds. I was lying on the couch, pretending to sleep, when I heard Yusuke leave the room with Kuwabara. As soon as I knew they were far enough away for them not to hear me leave. I went to one of the windows near by and opened it. I quickly stepped out and shut it silently trying to make as little noise as possible. I could hear the two talking, oblivious to knowing that I had left.

I walked around the neighborhood not really knowing where I was or where I was going. Some people looked at me as I walked past them. I wonder why some ningens do this? Sometimes people stare at things for no reason. As I walked farther my surrounding seemed to be more familiar. I realized this is the way to the hag's house. But oh well I guess I should check up on Yukina.

The farther I walked more buildings and signs of 'civilization' faded. The forest was shaded with trees, and only small amount sunlight hit the floor. I was near the temple when a visitor interrupted me. Of course it was Quizzical. The bastard why can't he leave me alone? "What do you want?" I asked coldly.

He smiled. "What's wrong? Don't you like a friendly conversation?" I said nothing and glared at him. "What's wrong?" he asked still smiling. Silence. "You don't talk much do you?"

I said nothing and pushed past him, but he stopped me by holding onto my left arm. "What?" I asked annoyed. He said nothing; he just smiled. I tried to walk on, but he still held his grip tight. This was starting to piss me off. I flung my arm around causing his to twist in a circle. Finally he let go. "Baka," I muttered under my breath.

I was near the steps when I saw Yukina coming. She smiled as she waved to me. I nodded in return. "Hello Hiei," she said brightly.

"Hi," I said. I felt awkward being around her since I have told her yet. And I don't plan on it either.

"Aren't you supposed to be at Kuzuma's house?" she asked.

I shook my head. "I left."

She smiled. "Ok if you say so." She went around to the back. I went up into one of the trees and tried to get some sleep. It was easier to sleep on than one of those couches. I was almost asleep when I heard someone scream. It sounded like Yukina. I jumped up and ran as fast as possible to the direction of her voice. 'She better be ok,' I thought, 'this is all my fault.' When I got to the back Quizzical was waiting there for me. And he was holding Yukina hostage. I felt the blood inside of my boil. "You let her go, you bastard." I threatened him.

"You'll have to catch me first," he said. I smirked mentally. 'I could out run him any day.' But why did he look so excited about it? He knew I was faster than him. I started off toward him, but he disappeared. I skidded to a stop and looked around. "Catch me if you can," his voice taunted from the air. I got madder. He reappeared and I charged after him again. But as soon as I was close to getting him, he would vanish. "What's wrong?" he asked, as he appeared again, "is it harder than you thought?" I charged again but he did the same.

This time he stayed invisible. I stood in place trying to find out where he was. 'Show yourself you fag,' I thought. How dare he use Yukina to hide behind? But he didn't come back. I felt the sensation of metal going across my skin. I looked at my arm; it had a line of fresh blood coming from it. 'Damn,' I thought as I tried to stop the blood. "Haven't you heard of fighting fair?" I asked.

"I don't play fair little one," he said. I smirked. He did exactly what I wanted him to do. Since he spoke it would be easier to find out where he was. I tried attacking the place I heard his voice come from. I hit something, and I heard Quizzical swear. He resurface again. "You'll pay for this," he said angrily, but still smiling his twisted smile. He changed again, and I heard feet hitting the ground as he ran with Yukina. I couldn't tell where he was going.

I ran of in the direction I thought he took Yukina. 'Hold on Yukina. I'm coming,' I said to myself. This was all my fault. I had to save Yukina.

**Yeah I have to write my term paper now. I'm writing about Green Day! Ok well I have to go. I swear I'll write more soon, and it will be this month. Maybe. **


	59. I'm not abberant conversation that will ...

Sorry it's been like a month but hey I have stuff to do. I think today is my updating weekend. I have no plans. Yeah there will be an important poll at the end of the chapter. Please answer and I wont get mad 'cause this has been bugging me for a long time. So yeah….let's get to the story shall we?

Hiei POV-

I could go to help, but I don't want any. It would make me look week. Besides it wont be that hard. All I have to do is find him and save Yukina. And if this time he fights fair this will be over in a matter of minutes. I was near him. I could sense it. It was odd that Yukina turned invisible with him. Oh well when I find him I'll just kick his ass.

I came to this old cement building. There was a heavy wooden door and no windows. I pushed on the door and smirked. 'The baka didn't even bother to lock it,' I said to myself. I stepped in. It was very dark. I could hardly see anything in front of me. The floor was cement too; there were a few articles of furniture. Just an army cot, a couple of shelves with nameless books on the, a small old TV, an ancient arm chair that was loosing is fabric, and some barrels.

I walked around, thinking that I was alone. 'Maybe I came to the wrong place,' I thought. 'Maybe he's outside.' I turned to leave so I could check the outside. But the door slammed. My fingers almost got caught n the door. "Looks like you found my place little one," Quizzical said almost sneering.

"Where's Yukina?" I asked him angrily.

He laughed. He reappeared and turned on a single light bulb that was swinging from the ceiling. He pointed to a corner. There was Yukina huddled there looking scared. I walled over to her but was stopped by Quizzical. "Move," I ordered him. He stood there with his moronic grin and shook his head. "Move," I repeated. Still he didn't do anything. "Don't make me force you," I threatened.

"I don't think that I would have to worry about that," he said, "You try one smart thing and she'll suffer for your mistakes." I glared at him checking his eyes to see if he was lieing. He only smiled triumphantly. "So do as I say or she'll suffer instead."

He pulled something out of his pocket. "Now put this on." It looked like a dog color.

"Please don't Hiei," Yukina said narrowly from the corner. I looked at it. I didn't want to but I had to protect Yukina. I took it from him and put it on. I felt my energy drain from me.

With Yusuke and Kuwabara looking for Hiei-

"Damn Hiei I told him to stay put," Yusuke said.

"Where do you think he went?" Kuwabara asked Yusuke.

"I told you already you idiot," Yusuke said sighing, "He probably went to see Yukina or something. I don't think that he wanted to stay at your house."

He shrugged. "I don't care as long as I get to see Yukina."

"Is that all you care about?" I asked him. "You know Hiei could be hurt again and all you can think about is Yukina. Aren't you worried?"

"If I say yes will you stop talking about him?"

"Sure."

"Ok, yes I am worried about the shrimp," Kuwabara said. Yusuke gave him a glare. "I mean Hiei."

"Come on we're almost there," Yusuke said. He started to run and Kuwabara fallowed shortly behind him. When they got there they checked inside at the outside but didn't find Hiei or Yukina. "Where do you think they can be?" Yusuke asked particularly to no one. He left to find Genki.

"Yo Grandma, have you seen Hiei and or Yukina?" Yusuke asked her.

"No dimwit I haven't," she said. "Yukina was here awhile ago and I don't remember Hiei coming over."

"Where was the last place you saw Yukina?"

"She was going out for a walk. Why?"

I sighed. "Cause Hiei left and we thought that he might have came here. You sure you haven't seen Hiei?"

"No why?"

Yusuke started to explain things. "That kid is always getting into trouble. I'll help you look for them."

**Ok so that wasn't that long, but I just found out that I have a dance recital thing to go to. Not mine its my youngest sisters. Oh and the asterisk thing mean I have Hiei at age 14. I used to think he was but I'm not sure. He looks around Yusuke's age though. So yeah… oh and the poll. Do you people think that I'm Goth or punk? No answers will be laughed at or make me angry. People at school keep asking me that and now my family and friends, and I don't know. So you people can deicide. I'll have the results up too. I'm thinking about having a new poll every chapter. You can vote on that too. Cia.**


	60. AN I need help for ideas

**Yeah I'll take suggestions for torure. Any thing your sick and twisted minds can dish up. Have fun. I don't really care if I have to changed the rating, but be creative. I can't think now, too much other shit going on. So thanks if you can help. All requests will be taken into consideration.**


	61. Um lets just go with Chapter 61

**Ok, thank you for the reviews and suggestions. I am updating sooner than I thought 'cause I'm baby-sitting… again. Has anyone else notice I suck at babysitting 'cause I never watch them? Hn, it's just my brothers and sisters. Also we found our hamster Eddie (he got out last night) and now she is in the wall and is stuck. My plan is to have it crawl up some chicken wire or something. Well wish me luck, if it doesn't work it will die. And I was just starting to like it. I'm the only one that it didn't bite.**

**Hiei POV**

''**Thoughts**

"" **Talking**

* * *

I stood in front of Yukina, watching Quizzical every move. As long as he was here I wouldn't let him come near her. Nothing much was going on at the moment. Quizzical was looking very proud of himself, seeing that now he was in control. For now, that is. All I have to do is get this stupid collar off. I reached back when he wasn't looking to try to get it off. "I wouldn't try that if I was you," he warned me smugly. "You don't want anything to happen to your-"

I cut him off before he could say sister. How in the hell did he know that? He turned to me and smiled. "How did I know? I know everything about you."

"What is he talking about?" Yukina asked timidly from behind me. She looked scared.

"Nothing. He's just a moron," I said trying to reassure her. She smiled a little. I turned back to Quizzical. "Besides," I said to him. "You wouldn't do anything to her."

His smile faded, and then appeared again. He flicked his outward in my direction. Yukina yelped from behind me. "Really? Are you that sure?"

"What in the hell did you do?" I asked enraged. I knelt down so I could see her face. I tried to catch her crystallizing tears as they fell. She looked all right. Just a few scratches on her face. "You'll pay with your blood for this." He laughed. "Give me those," he said holding out his hands. I gave him 'What the fuck are you talking about look'. "Those." He motioned to my pocket. Oh the tear gems. Why didn't he just say that and saved us some time. "Or do I have to get them myself?" I handed them over to him. "These could be of use to me later."

He didn't say much after that, just stared. I was trying to make Yukina feel safer. "I'll be gone for awhile," he said going to the door. "I'll have this locked. Don't think about leaving." I waited for him to leave.

"I'm going to get us out of here Yukina," I said.

"But what if he comes back?"

"Don't worry. We'll be back before he even comes." I went over to examine the lock. Since this stupid warded collar was on, this takes longer. I stared to play around with it. "Do you need any help?" a voice said from behind me. It was Yukina. "No," I answered. "He could have done something to it. You should stay back just to make sure." She nodded and stood a few feet behind me. 'Come on you stupid lock,' I told it mentally. 'Open up already.' I looked around. 'There has to be something I can use.'

There wasn't anything really there. All that I found that could work was a knife. I jammed it into the keyhole and twisted it left. I heard the lock clink. 'Great,' I thought. I motioned for Yukina to come over. I walked out side first to make sure it was ok. The sun hurt my eyes at first since I was used to the darkness. Yukina took a hold of my hand. It made me flinch. "Is it ok?" she asked whispering to me. I nodded. "Let's go." We were five steps out when we were stopped by a familiar laugh.

"I thought that you would try that little one," he said.

'God damn it!' I thought. Quizzical was really starting to annoy me.

"Actually, you went faster than I thought you would. Still did you really think that I was stupid enough to leave that poor of a lock with you here?" he asked.

"Yes."

He frowned. "You aren't getting away."

"Then just let Yukina go," I told him, stepping in front of her.

He laughed harshly again. "Sorry, no. She knows too much now." Quizzical suddenly stopped laughing. He grabbed my throat with one hand, and used the other to drag Yukina in. "You little bastard, don't think you can escape me. I know all of your moves. I know everything about you." Or noses were almost touching. He looked really pissed off.

I closed my eyes as I started to slip from conciseness. I heard him give a high yelp, and dropped me to the ground. I opened my eyes again. Yukina kicked him in the shin, and now he was jumping up and down, howling in pain. Yukina pulled me up. "You little bitch," Quizzical hissed. Yukina and I took off. We hadn't got far when I felt a shock go through my body. I fell to my knees in a lot of pain. "Hiei!" Yukina screamed, trying to help me up. But every time I got to my feet I was shocked again. "I told you that you wouldn't get away," Quizzical said smuggling. He was holding some kind of remote.

"What are you doing to him?" Yukina asked tearfully.

"See that collar? Not only is it warded; it's also a shock collar. And guess who has the button that makes it work? Me!" he stared to laugh again. "What will it take for you to give it to me?" Yukina asked. He stopped laughing. "What?" he asked her.

"Yukina, don't," I whispered to her. "I'll be fine."

She ignored me. "What will I have to give you to get it?"

He smiled his devilish smile. "So you want to bargain over his freedom? What are you willing to give?"

"Me."

'God Yukina!' What is she thinking? "Yukina don't. I'll be fine. I can find a way to get out of this, I whispered to her. Quizzical smiled. "Nope, sorry. I was just trying to see how far you would go. I want him. Not you. You were only the perfect bait to get him." He laughed more. "This is so much fun." He grabbed Yukina's arm, and picked me up. The shocks took away too much of my energy so I didn't feel like fighting back. Yukina was struggling as hard as she could too get us away, but Quizzical was a lot stronger that her. He threw us onto the floor. "Let the fun and games begin," he said.

With the others

**(Kurama's group)**

Kurama, Keiko, and Botan had joined the search now. And they were having much luck. "I lost Hiei's ki signal some where around here," Kurama said. They had split into two groups. Kurama, Botan, and Genki were in a group. And Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Keiko were in the other.

"Should I fly over head and see if I can get a better look from there?" Botan suggested. Kurama nodded. She took out her ore and flew up so she could get a bird's eye view. Kurama was worried and wanted to find Hiei and Yukina as soon as possible. He didn't want them to get hurt. "I wonder if they're ok," Kurama thought out loud.

"They should be fine," Genki said, "Yukina has Hiei to protect her." But she wasn't even sure if that was true. Then who would protect Hiei? Kurama smiled a little. He knew that Hiei would never let Yukina down. Maybe they were all right. Maybe they were just out for a walk.

**With Yusuke's Group **

"Hiei! Yukina!" Yusuke yelled, cupping his hands.

"Yukina my love! Shrimp!" Kuwabara called.

"You know Kuwabara," Keiko started to say. "I don't think calling Hiei shrimp will make him come."

"Of course it will," Yusuke said. "He will come to kill Kuwabara. Yukina! Hiei!"

"Yukina! Where are you? Shorty, come out already!" Kuwabara yelled. He imagined in his mind Hiei coming from a tree saying 'What do you want baka?' But he never did come. There was no sign of either of them.

"So where do you think they are?" Keiko asked.

"Don't know," Yusuke said.

"The shrimp better not be trying to do anything to Yukina," Kuwabara said. Yusuke made a face. 'Only if he knew that they were brother and sister, he wouldn't be thinking that. That's just twisted,' Yusuke thought.

"I hope we find them soon," Keiko said. "Especially before it gets dark." Yusuke nodded. "I'm sure they would be heading back to the temple before then." 'Hiei, Yukina where the hell are you guys?'

* * *

**That's all I can right for now. I have to send a letter, and find a way to get Eddie out. We might have to saw it out, but the hole is so small it might hit her. Poor Eddie. I am still taking suggestions. Any one got any? I will most likely to be able to post more this week, but not the week after that 'cause I am going to South Dakota. Eight whole fucking hours of driving with six other people just to see rocks. Not fun. Ja ne. **


	62. Take the poll please!

**Sorry it took awhile. I have been kinda busy. Also writer block. So sorry for the wait, if it bugged anyone. I got another poll at the end, I was just wondering if anyone thought about this and it concerns the readers. Enough of my ranting, I should start the story, unless you want to wait longer… I think I last left off with Yukina trying to save Hiei after their short escape, but they were caught again… and the rest were looking for them. Right? Right? Anyone? Hn, Ok back to the story…**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

With Hiei and Yukina- 

"Let us go!" Yukina screamed, trying to kick Quizzical away as he drug her back into the shed. Quizzical only laughed as she tried desperately to fight back. Yukina bit down on his hand. "You little brat!" he yelled. He dropped Hiei and threw Yukina into a wall. Yukina went limp as she slid down to the floor.

"Weak little bitch," Quizzical scoffed and rolled his eyes. He looked down at Hiei and smiled. "Finally I can torture you with out interruptions." He picked Hiei up again and set him on the wooden table. He put leather straps over Hiei's wrists and ankles and took Hiei's sword from him.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

Yusuke's group- 

"Hiei! Yukina! Where the hell are ya?" Yusuke yelled. His group had no luck in finding Hiei or Yukina. "God," Yusuke said talking in a normal voice. "Where do you think they're at?"

"I don't know, but the shrimp better not try to do anything to my Yukina," Kuwabara said folding his arms.

Yusuke sighed. "For the last freakn' time you idiot. Hiei doesn't like Yukina that way."

"And how do you know that?"

"Trust me, he doesn't," Yusuke said half laughing.

"Sure. What ever," Kuwabara said. "But if he does-."

"Would you shut up about it!" Yusuke said loudly. "There is in no hell's way that it would ever happen."

"Why?"

Yusuke stopped to think about the consequences if he did. "I can't tell you that."

"Why? The shrimp threatened to kill you?" Kuwabara said laughing a little.

"Yeah, kinda," Yusuke said.

"Why?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why?"

"I told you I couldn't tell you!"

"Why?"

"I can't tell you!"

"…Why?"

"God damn it!" Yusuke yelled, "I can't tell you!" There was a moment of silence.

"Why?" Kuwabara asked, breaking the silence.

"Because Hiei would kill me if I told you."

"Come on. I won't tell shorty that I know," Kuwabara said. Yusuke stared at him trying to see if he was telling the truth. "I swear. You can kill me if I do."

Yusuke sighed. "I can't. We all promised not to say anything."

"We? Am I the only person who doesn't know?"

"What are you boys talking about?" Keiko asked. **(Forgot about her)**

"Um, nothing," Yusuke said.

"Come on Urameshi. Tell me already!" Kuwabara said loudly.

"I can't tell you!"

"Why!"

"Because I can't tell you that Hiei is Yukina's brother!" Yusuke yelled. He stopped to think about what he had said. "God damn it!" The rest of the group was silent. "So you're saying that Hiei and Yukina are…brother and sister?" Kuwabara asked Yusuke.

"Yes. I mean no. I mean," Yusuke stuttered. "Just don't say anything to Hiei about it. He doesn't want her to know."

"Why?"

"He has his reasons. Now let's find them so I can go home."

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

With Kurama's group 

"Any luck?" Kurama asked Botan as she flew to the ground.

"Nope," she said setting her feat down onto the grass. "I didn't see any sign of them. I hope they're alright."

"I'm sure they are," Genki said.

"It's not like Hiei would have anyone trying to kill him or Yukina," Kurama said.

"But what about that Quizza something?" Botan asked sounding worried. "He has been fallowing Hiei around for awhile."

"Yeah, but I don't think that he can do anything," Kurama said. "Can he?"

'I don't know. We couldn't find anything on him. It's like he never existed," Botan sighed.

"Where do you think he would be staying?" Kurama asked.

"I don't know. Why?" Botan stopped. "Do you think he did it?"

"Maybe," Kurama said. "But it's getting late and I don't want to take any chances."

"Well then I'll go back up and see if I can find anything." Botan hopped back onto her broom and went back up to get a higher view of the forest.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

With Hiei and Yukina- 

'Where am I?' Hiei thought. He felt the cold table underneath him. He remembered his last moments before being knocked out. Hiei tried to sit up, but he was stopped. He looked at his wrists. 'Damn it!' he said to himself mentally when he saw the straps that was binding him down. He tried to wiggle his wrists through but didn't have any luck. "Having trouble?" a cold voice asked. Hiei stopped moving. Quizzical appeared on his right side.

"Where's Yukina?" Hiei asked angrily.

"She's fine," Quizzical answered causally. "But you won't." He took out Hiei's kanta from behind him. "So what do you think we should do with this?" Hiei didn't answer. "Fine then," he said. "I'll just have to think of something." He placed the sword on Hiei's chest and slowly drug it down. Hiei cringed as he saw his blood form into a steady crimson river. "What's wrong? I thought you didn't mind seeing your blood?"

Hiei smirked. "I don't."

"Then why did you make that face?" Quizzical asked also smirking.

"Because I looked at your face," Hiei answered. The smile faded from Quizzical's face. He picked up the sword and drove it into Hiei's arm. "Watch what you say to me, or you and your sister are going to regret it," Quizzical said, dragging the sword down so it tore Hiei's skin. "Got that?" He stabbed the sword into the other arm and repeated his actions.

A few hours later Quizzical had left for a while to get something that he had forgot. Hiei laid on the table trying to think of a way to get out. Since he couldn't use his powers he would have to find some other way. Hiei tried to slip his hands through the leather handcuffs again. They were on too tight, but he didn't stop. He knew this was their only chance. Hiei came up with an idea. The leather wasn't that strong and looked like it would be easy to tear. Hiei twisted his wrist so that the leather would wear down a little. When he saw some of it was coming off he yanked upwards hard, causing half of it to peel off from the table. "Finally," Hiei said quietly to no one. With the use of his other hand he could take the straps off both his ankles and other wrist. Hiei looked at the wounds on his arms. They were deep cuts, but at least the bleeding had stopped. Hiei jumped off from the table and went over to where he had saw Yukina laying. When he stood his head spun. He felt dizzy and week from the loss of blood.

"Yukina," he said gently shaking her. "Wake up." Yukina slowly opened her eyes and yawned. "Oh Hiei!" she cried, throwing her arms around him. "Are you ok?"

"Shh," Hiei said quietly. "He's gone for now, but I think we shouldn't be loud. Come on let's go." Hiei pulled her up to her feet.

"But Hiei, your arms are covered with blood! Are you ok?"

"Yes," Hiei lied. "Come on. Let's got before he gets back." They slid out the door and started their way back to the temple. Hiei felt like he couldn't run, and Yukina was still tired so they decided to walk. "I can't wait to get back," Yukina said happily. "I wonder if anyone is looking for us." Hiei smiled in his mind that his sister could still stay happy after all of this.

"They are," some one said from behind them. Hiei jumped and Yukina screamed as they felt arms grab at them.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

With the others- 

The teams had met each other in the middle of the woods. "Any luck?" Kurama asked Yusuke.

"Nope," Yusuke answered.

"Well it's getting late and maybe they're back by-." Kurama was interrupted by an ear-shattering scream.

"That's Yukina!" Kuwabara yelled. He started running after the voice.

"Wait for me you idiot!" Yusuke yelled at Kuwabara as he ran after him. The rest of the gang fallowed them. They had run a fourth way out of the woods when they saw Hiei and Yukina struggling against Quizzical. "Let my Yukina go!" Kuwabara yelled as he charged towards them.

Quizzical stopped when he heard Kuwabara's voice. "Here take her," he said pushing Yukina over to them. "She was only bait. But I'm keeping him." Quizzical held Hiei with one arm around his neck and across his stomach. Hiei was too tired to fight back or even move.

"Give us Hiei now. Or you're going to regret it," Yusuke threatened.

"What are you going to do? Shoot me?" Quizzical laughed tightening his grip on Hiei. Hiei winced when he felt pressure on the wound on his stomach.

"Damn straight," Yusuke said getting ready to fire.

"Yusuke stop!" Kurama yelled, grabbing Yusuke's arm.

"Why?" Yusuke asked, still glaring at Quizzical.

"Because you dimwit, you might hit Hiei too," Genki said.

"Oh," Yusuke said, lowering his arm.

"Yeah, that's right!" Quizzical said laughing and taking off the warded shock collar. "Now I am going to do what I have been dreaming of for along time. I'm going to kill this little punk."**(Lol, sorry joke between me and friend when you call people punk for no reason, especially old people. Sorry back to the story) **Quizzical put both hands around Hiei's neck and started to squeeze. Hiei legs kicked, trying to get free. None of his friends could say anything or move. They only watched as Hiei's air way was closed off.

Hiei's eyes rolled back and Quizzical gave one last tight squeeze. In a few seconds Hiei's legs stopped moving and he went limp. Yukina and Keiko started to cry and the rest looked dumbstruck as they stared at Hiei's lifeless body. "Here. You can have him now," Quizzical scoffed, throwing Hiei at them. "He's no use to me now." Kurama moved Hiei to a better place.

"You bastard," Yusuke said softly looking at the ground while the rest went over to see Hiei.

"Come again?" Quizzical asked.

"You bastard!" Yusuke yelled. His energy burst up. "I'm going to make sure you're dead for this!" He shot a powerful spirit gun, knocking down many trees. Quizzical didn't even have the chance to move before it hit him. There was an eerie silence afterwards. "Yusuke, are you ok?' Keiko asked putting a hand on Yusuke's shoulder.

"No," he answered. "Hiei's dead. I can't be ok."

"At least you killed him," Kuwabara said. Yusuke smiled a little. "Yeah I guess so," Yusuke said.

"Don't be a cry baby," Hiei said sitting up. His wounds were banged now but he looked tired. "I'm not dead."

"What the hell?" Yusuke said turning around. There was Hiei sitting up. "Hiei you're alright!" Yusuke ran over to him and hugged him. A look of pain came over Hiei's face.

"Ok Yusuke," Kurama said pulling Yusuke away from Hiei. "I think you're hurting him more."

"But you were strangled. We saw it!" Keiko said.

"No. I lost consciousness," Hiei answered. Hiei's eyes started to close and he fell back down. "Is he ok?" Kuwabara asked.

"Yes," Kurama answered. "He's just sleeping."

"Let's go now," Yusuke said. "I'm hungry."

"I'll get shorty," Kuwabara said scooping up Hiei.

"You're so nice Kuzuma," Yukina said smiling.

"I know," he answered.

"Hurry up you slow pokes! I haven't eaten in hours!" Yusuke, who was already far ahead, called.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**Ok that's all I'm writing for now. And that's not the end. But the end comes soon! I'll be sad when I have to end this… I'll just take longer to update! Sounds good? Ok here is the poll. Do I take a long time to update? A. Yes or B. No**


End file.
